Commish Notes Week 2
Week Two, what it do?
Do ya’ Touchdown Dance because NFL scoring is up, and I’m sure if someone did the research (Bob that’s you, welcome the league INTERN!) they’d find that MLOM scoring is up, too. In case you missed the games last week, here’s a quick recap:
Detroit 48, KC 3 – And the Lions mascot took out Jamal Charles for the season.
Buffalo 38, Oakland 35 – I think Ryan Fitzpatrick might have gone to Harvard.
Tampa Bay 24, Minnesota 20 – I still have no idea how the Bucs won this game after being down for so long, but the reason might just rhyme with “McFlabb”.
New Orleans 30, Chicago 13 – Brees to Henderson was the prettiest pass of the day.
Tennesse 26, Baltimore 13 – Kenny Britt really impressed me in this game.
Cleveland 27, Indy 19 – The Colts are really, really, really, really bad.
NY Jets 32, Jacksonville 3 – Hello Blaine Gabbert.
Pittsburgh 24, Seattle 0 – So glad this game got top billing on my TV last Sunday morning. Great game.
Washington 22, Arizona 21 – Sexy Rexy is not fucking around people.
Green Bay 30, Carolina 23 – How about that Cam Newton?
Dallas 27, San Francisco 24 (OT) – Tony Romo apparently played with three arrows in his chest, kind of like when Boromir fought those orcs.
New England 35, San Diego 21 – Who would have thought multiple redzone turnovers would cost the Chargers in this one?
Houston 23, Miami 13 – Shit Chad you better just keep throwing to Marshall.
Denver 24, Cincy 22 – Eric Decker might be the week 2 Randall Cobb.
Atlanta 35, Philly 31 – Great game with lots of angles, but the top story was Turner’s ass.
NYG 28, St. Louis 16 – Ugly, ugly game, and great to watch with Papa Stup, which I did.
On to the awards.
Game of the Week:
The GBP (144.27) over the Brown Trout (140.87)
This game was both the highest scoring and closest game of this young season and has game of the season potential. It came down to Sunday Night Football with Rowdy Roddy White, Little Buhr’s key holdover, needing to score only 12.5 or more points to take home the win for the Brown Trout. Thanks to the secondary of “The Dream Team”, it didn’t happen that way even though Rowdy did managed to snag an early touchdown. This was a good game at every level. The quarterbacks played to a draw, the receiving corps both exploded to more or less mirror each other, and the defense/tight end/kickers also battled it out to an even extent. The key difference in this game was the RB corps. Jonny G, despite starting Reggie Bush and his lowly 2.20 points, was able to use Rashard Mendenhall alone to outmuscle the RB corps of the Brown Trout (Tolbert and Felix Jones) by a score of 15.50 to 9.62. I’ll go ahead and chalk up the curse of the Brown Trout RB’s as the difference in this epic shoot out.
Players of the Week:
Tom Brady, 40.76 points, 31 of 40, 423 yards, 3 TD, 3 rush yards
Taking a step back this week and easing off the gas, Brady managed barely 40 points in his worst output of the season to date. Only time will tell if he continues this horrific drop in his numbers week to week.
Costacos Brothers Poster of the Week:
Kind of dull to give it to Tom Brady two weeks in a row, I know, but this guy is a machine right now. He’s almost as good as Drew Bledsoe (above), the original launcher of Patriot Missiles! Stick with it Tom, maybe one day you can match the firepower of Drew.
Adrian Peterson, 27.40 points, 120 rush yards, 2 TD, 2 rec for 21 yards
“Hey, All Day, Baby I got your Mon-nay” Highly priced holdover Adrian Peterson delivers the goods in this week 2 match up. Meanwhile his counterpart-for-half-the-price Darren McFadden delivered 23.30 points, and remains to date clearly the superior value. Commish wouldn’t have thought it was possible to shame spiral with a player of the week, but apparently it is. It’s about economics people.
Receiver of the Week:
Miles “Smiles” Austin “Awesome”
34.87 points, 9 receptions, 143 yeards, 3 TD, -2 rush yards
Smiles Awesome, it could be argued, single-handedly won the game for the GBP delivering 143 yard and 3 scores in the late game in San Francisco. He looked effing awesome doing it, I might add. In the process, though, he apparently hurt his hamstring again and might be out until after the Cowboys bye week. Not sure when the injury occurred, but he played through it which shows just how much Miles Austin either a)wanted this win or b)hates Little Buhr. Hard to decide which, but I’m leaning toward “b”.
Tight End of the Week:
19.73 points, 4 rec, 86 yards, 2 TD,
Hard to believe that “Gronk” outscored the immortal Antonio Gates by 19.73 points this week. That’s right, somehow (though in thinking about it possibly the game plan by Belichick – maybe) Gates was held reception-less against the Pats. Gronk, on the other hand, was unleashed. Part of the two-headed monster that is the New England TE crew this season, Gronk could be even busier with Aaron Hernandez reportedly out of the line-up for a few weeks.
Team of the Week:
GBP – 144.27 points
Jonny G’s boys showed off what they are capable of this week when his high-end WR corps fires on all cylinders. 65 points from those three is impressive enough, and 18 additional points from Keller (also part of the passing game) was enough to get the (presumably Reggae-themed) party started for The GBP. Once Rivers gets into the easy part of his schedule, and if Jonny G can lock down that second RB position, this will be a team to be reckoned with.
Coach of the Week:
Mitchell’s Marauders, though not as impressive in point output as last week, still put up a very healthy 124 points in route to their second straight win. Moreover, through whatever diabolical tandem coaching process they’ve worked out, they were the only team to start their optimal line up this week. And lastly, their trash talk, mostly courtesy of Bob, has been epic from the get go. This week they managed to chase off the mighty Gabe of all folks, making me think this dynamic duo is for real in all aspects of the game.
Goat of the Week
Little Buhr’s RBs
If only one of those two backs could have stepped up by either a)not getting hurt or b)not fumbling at a crucial time or c)actually getting into the endzone on one of six straight tries, then Little Buhr would be in prime position to vault up the standings. As it is stands, the Brown Trout have produced just 30 points from RB’s combined in two weeks. Hey Tolbert and Felix, come get your horns.
Enemies of the Crown – 2 wins
MI-6 – 0 wins
We’re two weeks in and it’s two quick strikes for the Enemies of the Crown. This week’s villainous achievement was courtesy of the Crazy Canucks who handed it the original 007 himself, E-Ron and his defending champs the Rat Pack. The real war heats up in weeks 4 and 5 which feature exclusively interdivision battles.
Iwan’s win this week sponsored by:
Kamal Khan – the villain from Octopussy! (Did Iwan get smaller? He looks like an Octopussy.)
In scouring some of the bond film villains this week, I found this description (courtesy IMDB):
“Khan is a suave exiled Afghan prince living in India in the Monsoon Palace. He has a penchant for fine food and liquor, priceless jewels, “hunting” humans, and atomic weaponry.”
Sounds exactly like Iwan to me.
Slap Chop Official Power Rankings
When in doubt, follow the points scored, which is basically what I did when musing over the teams this week and which leads to some big shifts in the rankings. On the upswing (4 spots) are the Canucks who’s 140+ point per game average is tops in the league, though very likely unsustainable. On the downward swing big time are the Brothers Buhr, each team remaining winless. The Trout looked great this week, but Commish is looking for consistency, and more importantly a few wins before dialing them back up. Most other teams remain stable, but I did move up Jonny G this week (3 spots) just because his team seems capable of exploding at any time at most positions more than other teams. Look for lots of turnover in these rankings in the coming weeks especially, as the season, and along with it MLOM, continues to evolve and sort itself out.
Ranks from Last Week:
3)The Brown Trout
6)The Rat Pack
Updated Power Rankings
1)T he Gang (2-0)Even with a banged up Hakeem Nicks, PPR’s Gang continues to hum along at a Juggernaut pace, thanks mostly to Tom Brady looking lights out and essentially unstoppable. With Daniel Thomas coming on and looking decent, the only question mark seems to be the third WR spot.
2)Mitchell’s Marauders (2-0) The Fwob duo of Fwats and Bob continue to assert their will over the league, and their high power line-up is getting the job done, as are their weekly taunts of opponents. Romo’s health might provide a few wrinkles in coming weeks, I wonder if he can continue playing with a sucking chest wound after he takes his first hit this week.
3)Crazy Canucks (2-0) Iwan’s hosers are surprisingly the high points leaders after two weeks. If the Rodgers to Nelson play never happened this week, we’re looking at a 1-1 team that would be middle of the pack in points and would be a lot lower in these ranks to boot. Can Iwan and his legendary early season luck sustain this level and this rank?
4)LT’s Crackheeds (1-1) A bold move to put my boys as high as fourth on the list, we feel more like a fifth or sixth seed but when I compare this team to the ones below it, I see a more consistent production engine, with the exception of the seemingly hit or miss wide receivers. Still the point value is there with the Heeds currently in fourth place, just 0.07 points behind the Marauders. The addition of Gronk is looking like a real solid play.
5)The GBP (1-1) The explosive potential of the GBP WR corps coupled with the soft schedule that Rivers is about to face are what gets these boys the big jump this week. The Miles Austin injury is a concern to be sure, but Lance Moore (now healthy) and Nate Burleson (literally gets zero defenders per play thanks to Megatron also being on the field) may fill in nicely. Also, there’s Marion Barber just waiting to be unleashed.
6)The Rat Pack (1-1) Oof, tough week for the Rat Pack losing three players to injury during a winnable game. J Chaz is out for the season and Manningham is out at least this week if not longer. The Vick injury seems the least concerning because a)he’s already back and b)The Pack have capable back-ups at the QB spot with Stafford especially now causing a weekly dilemma for Eron in terms of who to start. On the upside, Kenny Britt looks like the real deal as a number one WR, and Fred Jackson should produce capably at running back (and actually be used no thanks to Iwan).
7)The Brown Trout (0-2) Tough loss for the Brown Trout, who need to settle their running back issues. I don’t think they will linger long here in this seventh spot, however. With their first high scoring win I’m likely to launch them back up these rankings. If Blount gets on track consistently and Steven Jackson gets healthy, look for this train to roll right back towards the top.
8)Los Pescaderos (0-2) Not sure why but Gabe’s boys have just fizzled the first two weeks (yet to score 100 points, a feat matched only by the Birdmen), but they certainly have. Desean Jackson’s boom or bust play (certainly bust last week) coupled with a completely unsettled third WR spot (Jacoby Jones?!) as well as injuries are keeping the point totals down for Los Pescas. The Hernandez injury will certainly sting, and of course there’s the ever present Arian Foster debacle. My guess is that Los Pescas will have to weather a bit of a storm here in the early going before finding their stride somewhere in the mid-season.
9)Mormon Defenders (1-1) The Defenders put up a better effort this week but ran head first into the red hot Gang. It must burn Norm a bit to watch a 2007-esque Tom Brady going off once again, and this time at his expense. Norm’s team feels like it’s on the verge of having a great week, with Chris Johnson, Percy Harvin, and Big Ben himself all yet to really get going. (Who do they play this week? Oh great, the Crackheeds.) It will be interesting to see how Fred Davis contributes over his time. Has his early production been misleading? Or are he and Sexy Rexy the real deal this year?
10)Fightin’ Birdmen (0-2) Let the Cam Newton era begin! Shit Chad you’re getting benched (and possibly dropped) because Cam Newton may just be the real deal. Despite the oft vocalized Birdmen woes, there is reason for hope with Newton the newcomer coming along to join McFadden, Fitzgerald, and Gates, all established giants at their respective positions. Sidney Rice is back this week – it will be interesting to see what he can do with (Shit)Tavaris Jackson in Seattle.
OK that’s two weeks of the notes/podcast combo. Hopefully I can keep it going, although there are some weeks where I’ll be traveling later in the fall that might hamstring the efforts a little bit. I’m going to stop with Google Plus alerts for these posts/podcasts just to make sure that all the comments people are making stay universal, so most of the updates will come on the main Yahoo site itself and occasionally on Twitter.
I find tweeting during the games difficult because there’s always something to watch but I will do it from time to time and some weeks will be better than others.
As always, any thoughts/comments/questions are welcome and feel free to keep the trash talk going!