Monthly Archives: September 2011

Commish Notes, Week 2

Commish Notes Week 2

Week Two, what it do?

Do ya’ Touchdown Dance because NFL scoring is up, and I’m sure if someone did the research (Bob that’s you, welcome the league INTERN!) they’d find that MLOM scoring is up, too.   In case you missed the games last week, here’s a quick recap:

Detroit 48, KC 3 – And the Lions mascot took out Jamal Charles for the season.

Buffalo 38, Oakland 35 – I think Ryan Fitzpatrick might have gone to Harvard.

Tampa Bay 24, Minnesota 20 – I still have no idea how the Bucs won this game after being down for so long, but the reason might just rhyme with “McFlabb”.

New Orleans 30, Chicago 13 – Brees to Henderson was the prettiest pass of the day.

Tennesse 26, Baltimore 13 – Kenny Britt really impressed me in this game.

Cleveland 27, Indy 19 – The Colts are really, really, really, really bad.

NY Jets 32, Jacksonville 3 – Hello Blaine Gabbert.

Pittsburgh 24, Seattle 0 – So glad this game got top billing on my TV last Sunday morning. Great game.

Washington 22, Arizona 21 – Sexy Rexy is not fucking around people.

Green Bay 30, Carolina 23 – How about that Cam Newton?

Dallas 27, San Francisco 24 (OT) – Tony Romo apparently played with three arrows in his chest, kind of like when Boromir fought those orcs.

New England 35, San Diego 21 – Who would have thought multiple redzone turnovers would cost the Chargers in this one?

Houston 23, Miami 13 – Shit Chad you better just keep throwing to Marshall.

Denver 24, Cincy 22 – Eric Decker might be the week 2 Randall Cobb.

Atlanta 35, Philly 31 – Great game with lots of angles, but the top story was Turner’s ass.

NYG 28, St. Louis 16 – Ugly, ugly game, and great to watch with Papa Stup, which I did.

On to the awards.

Weekly Awards:

Game of the Week:

The GBP (144.27) over the Brown Trout (140.87)

This game was both the highest scoring and closest game of this young season and has game of the season potential.  It came down to Sunday Night Football with Rowdy Roddy White, Little Buhr’s key holdover, needing to score only 12.5 or more points to take home the win for the Brown Trout.  Thanks to the secondary of “The Dream Team”, it didn’t happen that way even though Rowdy did managed to snag an early touchdown.  This was a good game at every level.  The quarterbacks played to a draw, the receiving corps both exploded to more or less mirror each other, and the defense/tight end/kickers also battled it out to an even extent.  The key difference in this game was the RB corps.  Jonny G, despite starting Reggie Bush and his lowly 2.20 points, was able to use Rashard Mendenhall alone to outmuscle the RB corps of the Brown Trout (Tolbert and Felix Jones) by a score of 15.50 to 9.62.  I’ll go ahead and chalk up the curse of the Brown Trout RB’s as the difference in this epic shoot out.

Players of the Week:

Quarterback:

Tom Brady, 40.76 points, 31 of 40, 423 yards, 3 TD, 3 rush yards

Taking a step back this week and easing off the gas, Brady managed barely 40 points in his worst output of the season to date.  Only time will tell if he continues this horrific drop in his numbers week to week.

Costacos Brothers Poster of the Week:

"Terrorists your game is through, 'cause now you have to answer to..."

Kind of dull to give it to Tom Brady two weeks in a row, I know, but this guy is a machine right now.  He’s almost as good as Drew Bledsoe (above), the original launcher of Patriot Missiles!  Stick with it Tom, maybe one day you can match the firepower of Drew.

Running Back:

Adrian Peterson, 27.40 points, 120 rush yards, 2 TD, 2 rec for 21 yards

“Hey, All Day, Baby I got your Mon-nay”   Highly priced holdover Adrian Peterson delivers the goods in this week 2 match up.  Meanwhile his counterpart-for-half-the-price Darren McFadden delivered 23.30 points, and remains to date clearly the superior value.  Commish wouldn’t have thought it was possible to shame spiral with a player of the week, but apparently it is.  It’s about economics people.

Receiver of the Week:

Miles “Smiles” Austin “Awesome”

34.87 points, 9 receptions, 143 yeards, 3 TD, -2 rush yards

Smiles Awesome, it could be argued, single-handedly won the game for the GBP delivering 143 yard and 3 scores in the late game in San Francisco.  He looked effing awesome doing it, I might add.   In the process, though, he apparently hurt his hamstring again and might be out until after the Cowboys bye week.   Not sure when the injury occurred, but he played through it which shows just how much Miles Austin either a)wanted this win or b)hates Little Buhr.  Hard to decide which, but I’m leaning toward “b”.

Tight End of the Week:

Rob Gronkowski

"GRONK! GRONK! GRONK!"

19.73 points, 4 rec, 86 yards, 2 TD,

Hard to believe that “Gronk” outscored the immortal Antonio Gates by 19.73 points this week.  That’s right, somehow (though in thinking about it possibly the game plan by Belichick – maybe) Gates was held reception-less against the Pats.  Gronk, on the other hand, was unleashed.  Part of the two-headed monster that is the New England TE crew this season, Gronk could be even busier with Aaron Hernandez reportedly out of the line-up for a few weeks.

Team of the Week:

GBP – 144.27 points

Jonny G’s boys showed off what they are capable of this week when his high-end WR corps fires on all cylinders.  65 points from those three is impressive enough, and 18 additional points from Keller (also part of the passing game) was enough to get the (presumably Reggae-themed) party started for The GBP.  Once Rivers gets into the easy part of his schedule, and if Jonny G can lock down that second RB position, this will be a team to be reckoned with.

Coach of the Week:

Fwob  (Fwats/Bob)

Mitchell’s Marauders, though not as impressive in point output as last week, still put up a very healthy 124 points in route to their second straight win.  Moreover, through whatever diabolical tandem coaching process they’ve worked out, they were the only team to start their optimal line up this week.  And lastly, their trash talk, mostly courtesy of Bob, has been epic from the get go.  This week they managed to chase off the mighty Gabe of all folks, making me think this dynamic duo is for real in all aspects of the game.

Goat of the Week
Little Buhr’s RBs

The critical fumble

If only one of those two backs could have stepped up by either a)not getting hurt or b)not fumbling at a crucial time or c)actually getting into the endzone on one of six straight tries, then Little Buhr would be in prime position to vault up the standings.  As it is stands, the Brown Trout have produced just 30 points from RB’s combined in two weeks.  Hey Tolbert and Felix, come get your horns.

Interdivision War

Enemies of the Crown – 2 wins

MI-6 – 0 wins

We’re two weeks in and it’s two quick strikes for the Enemies of the Crown.  This week’s villainous achievement was courtesy of the Crazy Canucks who handed it the original 007 himself, E-Ron and his defending champs the Rat Pack.  The real war heats up in weeks 4 and 5 which feature exclusively interdivision battles.

Iwan’s win this week sponsored by:

"Mr. Bond is indeed of a very rare breed... soon to be made extinct"

Kamal Khan – the villain from Octopussy! (Did Iwan get smaller?  He looks like an Octopussy.)

In scouring some of the bond film villains this week, I found this description (courtesy IMDB):

“Khan is a suave exiled Afghan prince living in India in the Monsoon Palace. He has a penchant for fine food and liquor, priceless jewels, “hunting” humans, and atomic weaponry.”

Sounds exactly like Iwan to me.

Slap Chop Official Power Rankings

"You don't have time to make breakfast....*SLAP*...Breakfast to go."

When in doubt, follow the points scored, which is basically what I did when musing over the teams this week and which leads to some big shifts in the rankings.  On the upswing (4 spots) are the Canucks who’s 140+ point per game average is tops in the league, though very likely unsustainable.  On the downward swing big time are the Brothers Buhr, each team remaining winless.  The Trout looked great this week, but Commish is looking for consistency, and more importantly a few wins before dialing them back up.  Most other teams remain stable, but I did move up Jonny G this week (3 spots) just because his team seems capable of exploding at any time at most positions more than other teams.  Look for lots of turnover in these rankings in the coming weeks especially, as the season, and along with it MLOM, continues to evolve and sort itself out.

Ranks from Last Week:

1)The Gang

2)Mitchell’s Marauders

3)The Brown Trout

4)Los Pescaderos

5)LT’s Crackheeds

6)The Rat Pack

7)Crazy Canucks

8)The GBP

9)Mormon Defenders

10)Fightin Birdmen


Updated Power Rankings

1)T he Gang (2-0)Even with a banged up Hakeem Nicks, PPR’s Gang continues to hum along at a Juggernaut pace, thanks mostly to Tom Brady looking lights out and essentially unstoppable.   With Daniel Thomas coming on and looking decent, the only question mark seems to be the third WR spot.

2)Mitchell’s Marauders (2-0) The Fwob duo of Fwats and Bob continue to assert their will over the league, and their high power line-up is getting the job done, as are their weekly taunts of opponents.  Romo’s health might provide a few wrinkles in coming weeks, I wonder if he can continue playing with a sucking chest wound after he takes his first hit this week.

3)Crazy Canucks (2-0)  Iwan’s hosers are surprisingly the high points leaders after two weeks.  If the Rodgers to Nelson play never happened this week, we’re looking at a 1-1 team that would be middle of the pack in points and would be a lot lower in these ranks to boot.  Can Iwan and his legendary early season luck sustain this level and this rank?

4)LT’s Crackheeds (1-1) A bold move to put my boys as high as fourth on the list, we feel more like a fifth or sixth seed but when I compare this team to the ones below it, I see a more consistent production engine, with the exception of the seemingly hit or miss wide receivers.   Still the point value is there with the Heeds currently in fourth place, just 0.07 points behind the Marauders.   The addition of Gronk is looking like a real solid play.

5)The GBP (1-1) The explosive potential of the GBP WR corps coupled with the soft schedule that Rivers is about to face are what gets these boys the big jump this week.  The Miles Austin injury is a concern to be sure, but Lance Moore (now healthy) and Nate Burleson (literally gets zero defenders per play thanks to Megatron also being on the field) may fill in nicely.  Also, there’s Marion Barber just waiting to be unleashed.

6)The Rat Pack (1-1) Oof, tough week for the Rat Pack losing three players to injury during a winnable game.  J Chaz is out for the season and Manningham is out at least this week if not longer.  The Vick injury seems the least concerning because a)he’s already back and b)The Pack have capable back-ups at the QB spot with Stafford especially now causing a weekly dilemma for Eron in terms of who to start.  On the upside, Kenny Britt looks like the real deal as a number one WR, and Fred Jackson should produce capably at running back (and actually be used no thanks to Iwan).

7)The Brown Trout (0-2) Tough loss for the Brown Trout, who need to settle their running back issues.  I don’t think they will linger long here in this seventh spot, however.  With their first high scoring win I’m likely to launch them back up these rankings.  If Blount gets on track consistently and Steven Jackson gets healthy, look for this train to roll right back towards the top.

8)Los Pescaderos (0-2) Not sure why but Gabe’s boys have just fizzled the first two weeks (yet to score 100 points, a feat matched only by the Birdmen), but they certainly have.  Desean Jackson’s boom or bust play (certainly bust last week) coupled with a completely unsettled third WR spot (Jacoby Jones?!)  as well as injuries are keeping the point totals down for Los Pescas.  The Hernandez injury will certainly sting, and of course there’s the ever present  Arian Foster debacle.  My guess is that Los Pescas will have to weather a bit of a storm here in the early going before finding their stride somewhere in the mid-season.

9)Mormon Defenders (1-1)  The Defenders put up a better effort this week but ran head first into the red hot Gang.  It must burn Norm a bit to watch a 2007-esque Tom Brady going off once again, and this time at his expense.  Norm’s team feels like it’s on the verge of having a great week, with Chris Johnson, Percy Harvin, and Big Ben himself all yet to really get going.  (Who do they play this week?  Oh great, the Crackheeds.)  It will be interesting to see how Fred Davis contributes over his time.  Has his early production been misleading?  Or are he and Sexy Rexy the real deal this year?

10)Fightin’ Birdmen (0-2) Let the Cam Newton era begin!  Shit Chad you’re getting benched (and possibly dropped) because Cam Newton may just be the real deal.  Despite the oft vocalized Birdmen woes, there is reason for hope with Newton the newcomer coming along to join McFadden, Fitzgerald, and Gates, all established giants at their respective positions.  Sidney Rice is back this week – it will be interesting to see what he can do with (Shit)Tavaris Jackson in Seattle.

Final Word

OK that’s two weeks of the notes/podcast combo.  Hopefully I can keep it going, although there are some weeks where I’ll be traveling later in the fall that might hamstring the efforts a little bit.   I’m going to stop with Google Plus alerts for these posts/podcasts just to make sure that all the comments people are making stay universal, so most of the updates will come on the main Yahoo site itself and occasionally on Twitter.

I find tweeting during the games difficult because there’s always something to watch but I will do it from time to time and some weeks will be better than others.

As always, any thoughts/comments/questions are welcome and feel free to keep the trash talk going!

Commish

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MLOM Week 2 Podcast

MLOMweek2podcast

Last week’s podcast seemed quite popular (number 4 on iTunes!),  so I hope you enjoy this week’s version as well.  So much for “tightening it up a bit” as this baby has a very healthy running time of 1:35:47.   Our very own Adman the Birdman is the guest this week.

The Format:

-Brief Intro

-Game Reviews of Week 2 with Team Commentary (the bulk of the podcast)

-Waiver Wire and Trade analysis

-Question and answer with Adman and his history with MLOM (hopefully not a slog)

-Week 3 Look Ahead with votes on the games

On the technical side, if you right click the link and hit “Save Link As” you can save the file as an mp3 on your computer, and then scoot that over to iTunes or the mp3 player of your choice.  You can also click the link, and then right click on the quicktime player that comes up in your browser and do the same thing (save the file to the computer).   Just comment or email if you have questions/problems.

We’ve also gone a little higher tech in our production.  I bought a new microphone and some audio software to potentially do a little post-production.  For this week, I just want to get the podcast posted, so I haven’t done any of that stuff, but look forward to playing with those features and dabbling a bit in the future.

Still looking for a name of the podcast, but I’m leaning toward “Shame Spirals – the MLOM podcast”.  The shame spirals theme was suggested by Bob, so props there.  We’ll see how it continues to evolve.  It certainly has been a blast to make each week.

Enjoy!


Commish Notes, Week 1

Well, well, well, we’re back and ready to attack!

Guess what?  I watched a lot of football this past week and it was awesome.  Despite a power outage on opening Thursday, and a Direct TV fiasco for the early games on Sunday, I wasn’t the least bit dampened in my appetite for the NFL.  I somehow got through all of Friday on radio silence without hearing a thing about the Saints/Packers game and got around to watching it Friday night.  On Sunday we were at the bar all day and then I got to watch the Jets/Cowboys on DVR later that night.  That game, by the way, was the best viewing of the weekend.  On Monday I watched the entire Pats/Dolphins game and though I lost my fantasy game because of the events therein I was still pumped, and not the least bit because Jaws dropped an S-bomb on the air.  I was only able to skim the Raiders/Broncos game due to how late it was on, but I made up for that on Tuesday by watching two of Direct TV’s “Short Cuts” (Atl/Chi and a replay of NYG/Wash) which feature every play from an entire game in a half hour – a great way to catch up on anything you missed.  (Although a sad commentary on just how much actual football is played in a “3-hour” game.)  It was just a great week to suck up a ton of football.  Man I’m fired up the season is back.

And with the NFL, MLOM too is back and already blowing up.  We’ve got good teams, bad teams, ugly teams, injuries.  In many ways, feels like we never left.   I’m writing the bulk of these notes AFTER doing the first ever MLOM podcast which Iwan and I wrapped last night somewhere around midnight.  It was a ton of fun to do and remarkably easy compared to actually sitting down and writing Commish notes, which take hours longer.
Because we did the podcast I feel that I can shorten these notes a bit, focus on a quick recap of week 1 via our Players of the Week segment, speak briefly about the inter-division war, and then move on to some quick power rankings.  I’m still feeling my way on how to best document the season, but I’m thinking that a good mix of podcast and brief notes should keep everyone entertained.  Comments as always are appreciated and welcome.

With that, let’s jump right to the weekly awards.

Weekly Awards:

Game of the Week:

Crazy Canucks (142.51) over LT’s Crackheeds ( 123.79)

MLOM’s oldest rivalry claims the game of the week honors with a shootout between the Commish’s team and the team the Commish trashed in the draft grades and early power rankings.  Good at every level, we ‘ve got a score of 42 to 39 after Thursday night, 99 to 95 after Sunday Day games, 112 to 108 after Sunday night, and then finally the Welker explosion on Monday night putting the Canucks on top for the win.  It doesn’t get much tighter than that (that’s what she said – oh!).   A lot more on this epic battle in the podcast.

 –

Players of the Week

Quarterback:

Tom Brady, 45.91 points, 32 of 48, 517 yards, 4 TDs, 1 Int, 3 rushing yards (key)

Just days after Brees and Rodgers put up an epic duel in Green Bay, Brady one ups them both by going off to the tune of 500-plus and 4 TD’s.  The 99-yard TD to Welker, besides being a dagger to the Crackheeds, was a straight up Madden play and just a sight to behold.  I could have done without the constant verbal fellatio of Brady from the MNF crew (It started about one minute into the game and certainly didn’t quit), and certainly without that godawful Uggs commercial, but still this performance was one for the ages, and certainly worth our award for:

Costacos Brothers Poster of the Week:   (New feature!)

If you’re thinking right now, “Oh my God is that Bernie Kosar in a flight suit standing in front of a fighter jet?!?”  you can most certainly rest assured that it is.  Congratulations to you Tom Brady, for winning this prestigious award.

(A note on the Costacos Sports Brother posters: I had about half of them in my room in high school, and they pretty much rocked.  This year I’ll try and feature one each week and award to it a Player or Team (or Coach) of the week.  Couldn’t start with anyone else but Bernie Kosar and his fabled Air Raid.  Oh my God the sirens!!! Bernie’s back to pass – Get to the shelters, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!  Just look at how he fills out that flight suit! So awesome.)

Running Back of the Week

Ray Rice, 28.72 points, 107 yards, 1 TD, 4 rec. for 42 yard, 1 rec TD

Flowed like a harpoon in week 1

Lots of potential nicknames for Ray Rice, including the classic Ray Ray and any one of a number of plays on the word Rice, but I’m going to go with Ray “Anything but Vanilla” Rice, Rice Baby, at least for this week.  It’s a mouthful (insert joke here), but Rice was a beast this week, an absolute handful (insert joke here) for the Steelers and led the attack for the two-headed monster that is Mitchell’s Marauders.

Wide Receiver of the Week:

Wes Welker, 29.67; 8 for 160, 2 TDs (including a 99 yard TD rec)

He's got 99 yards but a bitch ain't one

Bill Simmons called it the greatest fantasy football play ever, and I be inclined to agree if it didn’t happen in week 1.  Imagine that play happening in Week 15!  It killed my beloved Crackheeds (up until then Iwan and I were going right back and forth in our aforementioned epic game) but I must give it props.  What’s most hilarious to me is how it will affect Wes Welker’s yard-per-catch average over the course of the season.  His career average is 10.9 YPC.  His current average is 20.0.  How many 5 yard curls will it take for his average to go back to baseline?

Tight End of the Week:

Aaron Hernandez, 19.37 points (7 for 103, 1 TD)

Gabe has Mexican wife, Mexican Tight End, Ole!

It looks like a complete sweep for the Patriots in the passing game this week.  The Patriots two-tight-end attack was impressive indeed against the hapless Dolphins secondary, and I look forward not only to having Gronk on my squad but also trying the dual-TE tactic in Madden this year.   Combine Hernandez and Gronkowski into one player and you might have the best tight end in the history of fantasy.

Coach of the Week:

Iwan Thomas, Crazy Canucks

I’m not sure what happened in the Canuck locker room this week, but I’m willing to bet that Iwan took my draft grades and pinned them promptly up on the bulletin board.   Then his mostly-white team gathered round and became angry.  Real angry.   Wes Welker was especially frothing.  Then they went out and put up 142 points on the Crackheeds’ heeds.   Not only that but GM Canuck was also active this week, snagging Jordy Nelson with an oft forgot Thursday FA rule and then getting this week’s FA prize, the Steeler’s defense at home against Tavaris Jackson (One man’s trash is another man’s treasure apparently).  My God that’s a juicy matchup.  Congrats to the Canucks.

Team of the Week:

The Gang, 142.77 points

The Gang took command in their season opener, dropping a league high 142.77 points on the poor Pescaderos and making a bold move toward the top of the power rankings list.  Using Tom Brady’s 45 points as an anchor, they looked solid across the board from Lesean McCoy’s 27 points to another 20 from defense and special teams.  In the process they achieved their highest score since the middle of 2009.  Well done Gang, you’re our team of the week.

Goat of the Week:

Pittsburgh Defense, -4 points

It’s never as fun to rank an entity, such as a defense, as the goat of the week.  Generally it’s more fun to pick a person.  But the Steelers putting up negative 4 points after being projected at 12 is tough to ignore, especially when that 16 point swing would have won the Birdmen the week.  Hey Stillers’, come get your horns.    You might be great other weeks, just not this time.

Interdivision War

As so often happens in movies, the villains strike first with PPR leading the Enemies of the Crown over England’s finest.  Gabe’s team looked shaken (not stirred – oh!) at the onslaught of the mighty Gang this week, and that was all it took for The Enemies to take a quick lead.  There was confusion, too.  At one point in the bar after a long TD catch from LeSean McCoy, I said “Uh oh, Gabe, ‘Leseando’ with a long touchdown run…”  Gabe, thinking I had said “DE-Seando with a long TD run”, began to get up and dance around, doing quite the jig.  When I got his attention again, and informed him of his mistaken assumption, he stopped dancing and his facial expression changed a fair bit.  By the way, if Gwen and I have a son, we’re going to have trouble decidine between the following names:  Jamichael, Jermichael, Lemichael and Demichael.  What do you think?

PPR’s win this week was sponsored by:

"It wasn't God who gave me this face! It was you, setting the timers for three minutes instead of six. "

Alec Trevelyan!

“Good luck with the floor James. I’ve set the timers for six minutes, the same six minutes you gave me. It was the least I could do for a ‘friend’.”

Slap Chop Official Power Rankings:

"Hi it's Vince with Slap Chop"

Here’s a recap of the rankings after the draft last week:

1)The Brown Trout

2)The Gang

3)Los Pescaderos

4)LT’s Crackheeds

5)The Rat Pack

6)Mitchell’s Marauders

7)The GBP

8)Mormon Defenders

9)Fightin’ Birdmen

10)Crazy Canucks

And here’s how things look going into week 2.   The escalation of Mitchell’s Marauders basically drops a lot of other teams.  Don’t want to read too much into week 1 alone, so I kept most movement fairly limited, but the two-headed monster could not be contained.   Overall, these rankings are like football itself, a game of inches, and I think every team is in this thing, even the 9th place Defenders.  I honestly worry for the Birdmen, though.   Curse you Peyton Manning’s Spine!!

1)The Gang (1-0)  Huge opening week for the Gang who look fierce with a major stud at every level (Brady, McCoy, Nicks) and good complements.  The 142 point outing to start the season was damn impressive. The injury bug stopped the Gang last year, what if they stay healthy this time?

2)Mitchell’s Marauders (1-0)  The two-headed monster is like a mullet, business up front and party in the back.  They come at you from multiple angles.  If Steve Smith’s corpse has truly been reanimated this year, then look out.  Word is that these guys are the talk of Hollywood, not to mention MLOM.  Easily one of my favorite teams so far.

3)The Brown Trout (0-1) Didn’t quite live up the hype on opening week, of course opening week’s just not their style (0-7 in their last seven consecutive openers).  Don’t want to read too much into one week, but the curse of the Commish looks to be in full effect, not to mention the curse of the Little Buhr (RB position failure).

4)Los Pescaderos (0-1) Great team on paper but has to produce.  High likelihood of injury and a question of Schaub’s fantasy reliability hold this team back.  Luckily they have the best leader in the history of animated robots who transform, Megatron, who should rally them when needed.   Look for Los Pescaderos to find their stride in time.

5)LT’s Crackheeds (0-1) Still have a solid core of players, but the biggest question mark is also the most expensive.  How well can Adrian Peterson do this year with a shitty line and McFlabb at QB?  Fun game for everyone else: Watching McFadden (half the price) outperforming Peterson each week this year and the resultant shame spiral it generates for the Commish.  Hey look, they play each other in week 2!

6)The Rat Pack (1-0) Probably far too low to rank the Champs who are still loaded with perhaps the game’s top two playmakers at their respective positions (Vick, Charles).  Britt might be solid, but I don’t quite trust the WR corps yet.  However, I suspect we’ll see this team higher in coming weeks.  Can’t wait to see which scraps Eryn picks up and turns into gold by the playoffs.

7)Crazy Canucks (1-0) Out of the cellar thanks mostly in part to a huge week from Welker.  Great stable of backs and perhaps I forgot a bit about the power of Aaron Rodgers in my draft grades/initial power rankings.  In this league with our scoring rules, hard to be less than the fifth best team with that guy at the helm.  He looks utterly unstoppable out there.

8)The GBP (0-1) Another middle of the road team pushed too low by other rankings.  I still like the GBP and expect them to climb out of this spot in time.   It’s only a matter of time before Rivers gets to play the AFC west secondaries, and a bunch.  If this team’s boom or bust WR corps all hit on the same week, we could see a 170 point game from these guys, easy.

9)Mormon Defenders (1-0)  A win is a win for the Defenders, who need to square away their receiver situation a bit with Colston out.  As I look at this roster, I think how can I have this team ranked 9th?  They’re better than this, they just have to go out and prove it.   Chris Johnson and MJD look so good on a roster, but will they live up to their namesakes this season?

10)Fightin’ Birdmen (0-1)  Ugh, the Peyton Manning debacle and a sour opening week had the Birdmen flipping over nearly half the roster.  Will it work?  Turns out it’s hard to replace a Hall of Famer and all of his teammates that rely on him.  Luckily they get two games against the Crackheeds, so that’s two wins at least.

Final Word

Once again, check out the podcast (last post) if you haven’t listened yet.  I just listened to the whole thing again, and here are my thoughts:

-Thought it worked fairly well overall.

-I must have said the phrase “If he stays healthy” about 6400 times.  Need to check that in the future.

-I like the format.  In the future I think we’ll focus on tightening it up a bit and shortening it down to no more than an hour.

-If I or the guest or both taunt your team a lot, please don’t take it personally.  I don’t think anyone here would, but just in case.  Like the Cable Guy, “I was just talking trash”.  Hopefully, unlike the Cable Guy, I didn’t ruin the game.

Please comment on the podcast if you can.  I talked to Bob who said he really enjoyed it and thought it got better as it went, when it focused on game breakdowns and management decisions and smack talk of the league itself.  Eryn also seems fired up.  But also, if it’s just ‘meh’, or things aren’t working for you, or it’s dull, please tell me.  I think it can be a neat addition if done right.  It was definitely fun to do.  I need to work on the technical aspect to permit call in recordings for some weeks.  I will also try and find a way to post the file of the recording up there for download.  It was recorded in MP3 format.

Also I changed the format of the blog a bit, mostly to have a more columnar look to this thing.  When rereading posts I got tired of scanning miles across the page.  I prefer the tighter column look.  Hope you do too.

Good luck to all teams in Week 2!  I will try to tweet this week during the games.

Commish


MLOM inaugural podcast is here!

MLOM Inaugural Podcast

Iwan and I recorded the first EVER MLOM podcast last night and the URL is above. In terms of publishing the file I’ll try and figure that out in time. We had a blast doing it, hopefully it’s fun to listen to. The running time is about 1:18 minutes or so (!). (I mean it did feature Iwan.)

Official Commish Notes for the week are still in progress, look for them later today or tomorrow. And enjoy the podcast!

The Basic Format:
-Intro
-Recap of Little Buhr in the Pink Jersey
-Recap of all week one games (with commentary on each team)
-A look ahead to week two games
-Iwan’s favorite MLOM memories

Commish

PS – Changed the look of the blog a bit, more on that later.


2011 Divisions Named!

 

In honor of current Champion Eron, I have decided to go with a British Themed Division War this year.  It was on the list I had mentioned previously, and I think it will play nicely into our ever-evolving inter-division conflict.

I give you, MI-6 vs. Enemies of the Crown.

Eryn’s division, of course, will be MI-6, in honor of his British heroism, charm, good locks, and skill in the bedroom.  Look for the five teams in that division to constantly be compared to Bond actors.  All hail the eventual Sean Connery and Daniel Craig teams, and likewise prepare to weep for the Timothy Dalton and (gulp) George Lazenby franchises.

In the other division look for Bond villains and henchmen to make frequent appearances, like THIS guy, who is awesome, because he’s Christopher Walken, among other things.

"It's a, uhh, view, to a, uh, killll."

Yes, I speak of Max Zorin, evil horse breeder from A View to Kill.  Do not fuck with him.

In terms of the actual war itself, here is where it stands.  The now-named Enemies of the Crown Division has been far superior over time, with a 96-68 win-loss record over the lesser now-named MI-6.  It would take years to turn this sort of dominance around.  I guess it has to be one season at a time, eh lesser division?  This is our seventh year of doing divisions, and the current MI-6 division has only won the season twice.

I have thought about some interesting ways to modify the divisions, for example relegating the top team of the MI-6 division into the Enemies division and kicking the lowest team of the Enemies division down, but I thought that too condescending.  I also would consider the idea of swapping the two worst teams in each division each year, just for kicks.   I haven’t made an official decision on any of that yet, but I am considering it.  Maybe I’ll put it to a vote.  Any thoughts?  Write them in the comments or just vote in the new poll.  I also like the idea of just keeping everything the same, for a historical perspective.

Folks, we’re less than twenty-four hours away from football.  And that is awesome.  Let the games begin.

Commish


Draft Day Recap and Analysis

Draft Day Recap 2011

Draft Day 2011 = Sexy Time!

Every year draft day comes and goes and is awesome and every following year I find myself wishing I had written a recap.  That way, in future years when memories start to blur together, I’ve got something tangible to refer to and make me say, “Oh yeah – THAT draft”.  That recap almost never (read: never) happens, and as I started to reflect on this year’s proceedings I thought, this year I’m going to be different and get the thing done.  This year there is going to be a recap, of both the draft and the day itself, and here it is.  So let’s do the thing.

Draft Day

Saturday, August 27th 2011 began for me, paradoxically, with a fatigue hangover.  The night before we had a big dinner at the Counter for Eryn and Trisha to see all the old gang, and it also became the night that Gwen and I revealed to everyone that we were married and that Gwen was pregnant.  After dinner partying ensued at our house, and we found ourselves up late, drinking a fair (but not necessarily excessive) amount of booze, and smoking a few stogies (always SUCH a better idea the night of than the morning after) around the fire to celebrate all kinds of things, not least of which was Bob walking smack into the screen door.

Many people stayed over at our house that night, including Gabe and Rena, Iwan and Justin, and Eryn and Trisha, all cute couples in their own regard.  In the morning it was decided we would play beach football instead of the standard grass variety and we headed over to Moonlight beach around 10:00 or so.  I was stuck playing all time QB because of my bum hip which limited my ability to run, and I probably looked like some sort of end-of-career-knee-brace Marino only without the arm strength or accuracy or curly hair or brace.   The teams were Norm, Justin, and Gabe against Eryn, Adam, and Iwan.  Taunts were made, plays were drawn up, routes were run, and touchdowns were had, but in the end the game ended up a tie.  Iwan was the tentative game MVP.  Afterwards, we all pitched into the brisk (66 degree) ocean to wash away the sand and clear our heads for the upcoming draft.  At that moment, while diving under and leaping over cresting waves, with a football game behind us, a draft in front of us, and a beautiful day all around us surrounded by great friends, it was hard not to think, simply, life is good.

The next few hours were spent on logistics which included traveling back to the house, obtaining food (Capriatti’s Sammies), drinks, and slowly making the transition over to Papa Roston’s house to begin the actual draft.  One by one or in small groups we arrived, lugging food and props and TVs and pink jerseys, until all was set up.  Last to arrive was the newest, Bob, who had formed an unholy coalition with Fwats as part of a new, diabolical two-headed monster approach to drafting and managing a fantasy football team.

The actual planned draft start was 1 pm, but we kicked things off closer to 2 pm.  It started officially with a brief presentation of the trophy to the defending champ Eron and his Rat Pack, and then, in the blink of an eye, we were off, auctioning players, cracking wise, and having a blast.   Oh yeah, and Justin was wearing a snug pink Tom Brady jersey and looking really sexy.  Frankly it was distracting.

When the draft was done, somewhere around 6 pm, we settled in, hit the hot tub, reviewed the big board, and waited for the ladies to arrive.  They showed up, dinner was served, and the night continued from there. We eventually made our way back to my house, played a game of Mafia, then several people left and the rest of us sat around and analyzed the Big Board for a few more hours.   Finally, grades were produced, them mocked.  The day was done.

Draft Highlights in Bullet Form:

-Justin in the pink Tom Brady jersey.  Capping off the best bet in MLOM history, at least until the potential blackface bet materializes.  Wait, probably shouldn’t put that on the internet.  Crap.

-Enter Bob!  The two-headed monster of Fwats and Bob is here, looking to mix shit up.  What if they win?  Whose name goes on the trophy?

-Another year of the auction.  My god it’s good.  So good.

-Realizing Iwan’s draft was as uneven as it was.  Man that was hilarious.

-First draft as a married man.  Crazy week.

-I mention Bob walked into the screen, right?  So good.

DRAFT GRADES AND ANALYSIS

It has been a tradition of recent years for the Commish to grade the draft by giving teams letter grades or draft ranks, or both, and then subjecting those listings to the analysis of all, including primarily Iwan and Justin, who form an old-men-from-the-muppets type of tandem when looking at – and criticizing –  everything.  Last year, the first year of the auction draft, proved too overwhelming to dole out proper grades and an official grading never happened.  This year it did.

Here are the original, bleary-eyed, whiskey soaked draft grades, with ranks, which occurred on Draft Night at the after-after party into the wee hours:

  1. The Brown Trout – B+
  2. The Gang – B
  3. LT’s Crackheeds – B
  4. Los Pescaderos – B
  5. The Rat Pack – B
  6. Schlitzfaced Spoilers – B-
  7. The GBP – C+
  8. The Birdmen – C
  9. Mormon Defenders – C
  10. Crazy Canucks – C-

Interestingly, nobody earned an A on first glance.  The highest grade, B+, was given to only one team, the Brown Trout.  Nobody’s draft blew me away.  Everybody’s draft seemed close.  Even distinguishing partial grade differences from the teams seemed difficult.  The only draft I found (literally) laughable was that of the Canucks.  It wasn’t until about 9 pm that night, I think, that I realized Iwan drafted 19 running backs and his starting WR corps consisted of: 1)Stevie Johnson, 2)Wes Welker, and 3)Danny Amendola.   I thought that was funny.  Hilarious, even.  On the upside for Iwan, he drafted a lot of quality RB’s and through a combination of trades and shrewd waiver wire play might be able to find something that works.  The same can be said for any team.  Overall these grades are obviously incredibly subjective.  I think essentially that Little Buhr drafted the best team (but needs QB help to realize a successful season), Iwan drafted the worst team (but could be in great shape with a trade), and that the other 8 teams are just a hair’s width apart on either side.  Just my two cents.  But what the hell do I know?  I was beaten by Carson Palmer on the road last year and will now go fetal.

*Goes Fetal*

After staring at things a few days later and updating my analysis, here’s how I see the updated draft grades and ranks, with a few comments.

1)The Brown Trout,  A-

The only weakness in the Trout’s team is quarterback, and it’s a big one.  The paradox of the QB in our league is that you absolutely need numbers there to win, and thus the biggest studs are coveted here more than in other leagues.  At the same time, it’s one of the easiest positions to replace it seems, and every year produces theretofore unknown wonder boys who can suddenly put up numbers.  As of right now, Justin has only Sam Bradford on his roster, probably the worst of the starting fantasy QBs in MLOM.  He could be good this year.  It’s unlikely he’ll be great.  The Brown Trout’s success will hinge almost entirely on him picking up other QBs to fill in, and maybe latching on some stud yet to be determined.   Everywhere else on the roster, the Trout are solid.  Jermichael Finley, if healthy, is a beast.  There is a real good balance of stud WRs (Vincent Jackson and Roddy White) and a stable of RBs capable of producing numbers (between Steven Jackson, Blount, Ryan Grant, and Felix Jones, I’d be surprised not to see TWO top 15 backs in there, and it should be enough).  If either Brandon Lloyd or Mike Sims-Walker shows up at all, then the third WR spot is locked up too.  If Little Buhr finds the right quarterback, look out.

V Jax leads an impressive Brown Trout attack

2)The Gang,  B+

I like the Gang’s roster from top to bottom.  Lots of studs at the top, starting with Tom Brady and Hakeem Nicks.  McCoy should also be a stud, though I worry about his TD potential, losing touches to Ronnie Brown and of course Vick in the redzone.  Also, the more I read about the Eagle’s offensive line, the more I realize it might be one of the worst in the league.  How that will play out in terms of McCoy’s numbers this year I don’t know, but because of it I’m putting him in the lesser stud category for now.  PPR also has several other running backs who could potentially fit nicely into the RB2 role, including Green-Ellis (main back on a high scoring team), James Starks (a sure stud if Grant goes down again), and Helu (the Shanahan sleeper).   I’m less impressed with Daniel Thomas, the Miami rookie, because that team probably won’t score much and his preseason has been less than stellar.  PPR’s receivers start with Nicks, but extend nicely into Santonio Holmes and the 3d WR spot has some interesting potential with Collie, Boldin, and Malcolm Floyd (for the occasional 2 TD fill-in against any AFC West defense).  Also Vernon Davis might just be a monster this year given the disaster that is the rest of the SF WR corps.

Hakeem Nicks anchors The Gang

3)Los Pescaderos,  B+

I had initially put my own team the Crackheeds ahead of Los Pescas (a pure homer call) but on second impression I like the Pescas better, even with the knowledge of the Foster hamstring injury.  Gabe wisely selected Tate as the proper Foster handcuff, so he should be OK even if Foster can’t go.  The hardest thing for Los Pescas will be avoiding the inevitable “questionable” tag on Foster for the first few weeks and deciding how to play that.  That said, with the explosive-but-injury-prone Javhid Best, Shonn Greene (can’t possibly be worse than last year and might blow up – great line, great situation, declining Tomlinson), and Knowshon Moreno (feature back in a run heavy John Fox offense) all vying for the second RB slot, Los Pescas should find a nice fit at the position.  At the WR spot, it’s of course Megatron leading the WR Corps like a pack of Decepticons about to attack a giant hydroelectric dam.  After him, it’s DeSean Jackson (in the Starscream role constantly trying to wrest power), certainly a solid number 2 man.  The question mark is the 3 WR spot.  There are options here, but not as much upside as on other teams.  I’m not a believer in Crabtree with his current injury and he has yet to prove anything at the NFL level.  Ochocinco and James Jones have the same problem, namely that they are part of spread offenses with lots of mouths to feed and it seems TD opportunities may be few and far between – each week will be a roll of the dice.  Schaub at the helm should be solid, barring health issues of course, and Freeman plays the role of capable back-up in the right matchup plus he kind of looks like a white guy in blackface so that should inspire Gabe to write even more episodes of “Gary Face”.

Calvin Johnson and Desean Jackson make ready to attack for Los Pescaderos

4)LT’s Crackheeds,  B

At most positions the Crackheeds are unsexy but effective.  Peterson and Michael Turner make up a nothing-wrong-with-that type of backfield although Michael Turner is one of the least intriguing picks in all of fantasy and caused no less than three independent shame spirals for the Commish on draft day.  The upside isn’t in his possible production as much as it’s in the size of his ass and my potential fascination with it, something that’s always been intriguing to me.  I’m placing the over/under on me saying “Come on Turner – you can do it, put your ass into it!” this season when the Falcons are in the redzone at approximately 120 (take the over).  I’m also intrigued at the possibility of Brandon Jacobs being a nice TD type of fill in back on certain weeks, and Harrison is a potential mega-sleeper depending on the iffy-at-best durability of Javhid Best.  Brees is a surefire top 5 QB so no complaints there.  Hopefully his 22 interceptions last season was a fluke and improvement in that department should further escalate his overall numbers.  The weakness of the Crackheeds, potentially, is the WR corps.  Commish is counting heavily on Dez Bryant being a beast this year, which he might, but he’s in an offense with a lot of mouths to feed and which still has Smiles Austin and Jason Witten.  After that it’s Brandon Marshall, a target monster stuck on a crappy team, and then it gets dicey.  Mike Thomas is solid but unspectacular, and old man Burress (I really signed him more to a legacy contract, a thank you for 2007) and Julio Jones represent interesting question marks.  Brandon Pettigrew is another question mark, but since tight ends are a dime a dozen this year after the top 3 or so it seems very low risk.

In Ass the Crakheeds Trust

5)The Rat Pack, B-

The more I stare at the Rat Pack’s draft the more I like what I see.  Vick and Jamal Charles are a hell of a way to start, and Eryn picked up Matt Ryan and Stafford to back up the injury prone Vick.  Shrewd moves there as all are capable of stellar seasons, with Stafford being the most intriguing in my opinion.  Frank Gore is another unsexy but effective back but depth is lacking in the rest of the RB corps with the who-the-hell-knows-how-he’ll-do Marshawn Lynch being the only other back on the roster.  At least he caused an earthquake last season.  The WR corps is the issue here, with some upside but no bonafide studs anywhere in sight.  Britt has potential, and I love Manningham this year, but neither one qualifies as a number one fantasy WR at this point.  Jeremy Maclin is playing without a liver, spleen, or bone marrow apparently, which might prove troublesome, and Robert Meachem is a bye-week fill in at best.  AJ Green and this random Roberts character from the cardinals are intriguing but still seem like fliers.  (That said, no one laughs at Eryn’s sleeper WR picks any more after the infamous Miles Austin incident.  He sure has come a long way from taking the likes of Marc Boerigter in the seventh round.)  I do like the 7 dollar purchase of Graham at tight end – apparently Brees loves that guy and guess what the Saints score a lot.

Can the Rat Pack also cause an earthquake this season?

6)Schlitzfaced Spoilers (or Mitchell’s Marauders),  B-

I love the star power of Ray Rice and Andre Johnson as the base of this team.  I think Rice has top 3 back potential and wouldn’t be surprised if he straight leads all RBs in scoring by the end of the season.  Johnson is a monster and is fun to root for, especially when he beats the shit out of punks like Cortland Finnegan.  Forte is no longer exciting (there’s a lot of blasé but effective second RBs out there I’m finding) but always carries the potential of being a poor man’s Faulk in the Mike Martz system.  I love Dwayne Bowe as a second (not first) WR this year and Romo has serious potential as well in his current system.  I also love Owen Daniels to have a major rebound year this season now two years out from knee surgery.  Between Steve Smith and Hines Ward hopefully there will be some service at the third WR spot.  The problem with this squad is depth and a lack of potential sleepers.  There is very little to be excited about on the bench, which features a who’s who of God-I-don’t-want-any-of-these-guys types, including Ricky Williams, Tomlinson, Braylon Edwards, and Darren Sproles –that would have been a hell of a squad in 2007.  Props for selecting the soldja, Kellen Winslow, as an upside TE with plenty of tude.  Something tells me that tude will be in strong supply this season with the Fwats/Bob two-headed monster.

Why trash talk when you can just use this pic as your taunt each week?

7)The GBP, C+

It all starts with Philip Rivers who to non-Charger fans is nonetheless a god in fantasy terms.  Commish suspects when it’s all said in done he may be the number one fantasy quarterback.  Mendenhall is a solid if unspectacular number one back.  Jonny G paid a lot of money for his starting WRs, and his top 3 are all rock solid or better, but there are value concerns there.  Jennings carries a 44 dollar price tag for a number one receiver who’s not as good when Finley is healthy.  Also, the Packers spread the ball around a lot.  Jennings will get his, but he may not justify that price.  Austin has been productive but it’s unclear how much up and comer Dez Bryant will steal numbers (Commish is hoping a lot).  Wallace is a stud and should anchor the WR corps nicely.  Jonny G’s second RB is a question mark, but Commish really likes the Ingram pick.  I imagine he’ll get essentially all the red zone carries by mid-season and he can catch the ball even a little, look out.  Burleson, Flacco, and Lance Moore round out a serviceable backup corps and add depth.  Dustin Keller is a riddle wrapped in an enigma in terms of fantasy production at tight end, but for one dollar and with loads of waiver prospects out there it won’t matter much if he doesn’t produce.

Either firing up his team or yelling at a fan, hard to be sure

8)Mormon Defenders, C

With the Chris Johnson signing done, the Defenders can breathe a sigh of relief.  The Titans offense seems to be quite a question mark, but there’s no denying Johnson’s talent and having a decent QB (Hasselback, for as long as he lasts) might open things up quite a bit for the twitchy CJ.  MJD carries a bigger injury tag than ever, but if healthy remains a beast and essentially the only significant option on a hapless Jaguars team.  Also he has nice thighs.  Roethlisberger is a question mark, capable of huge fantasy numbers, but capable of disappearing as well.  Overall I like him for this season as Pittsburgh seems to transition more each year toward a full blown passing offense.  In terms of receivers, Yo this Marques Baby is an all-time favorite of the Commish’s, but his recent microfracture knee surgery and constant swelling after practice all preseason are huge red flags that had even the loyal Commish staying away.  And again Colston is the number one target in a spread offense – welcome to the infuriating world of trying to figure which one of the Saints eight receiving options is going to get the call when Brees drops back in the red zone.  I don’t particularly trust Mike Williams, who has last-year-was-a-fluke potential, a la Michael Clayton of the very same Bucs several years earlier, but I may eat my words big time on that one.  I really like Harvin, however, who should see a lot of action/targets as the only game in town in Minnesota’s otherwise anemic passing offense (aside from Shiancoe’s formidable Johnson).  Santana Moss is probably the least sexy pick in all of fantasy football, and Norm seems to get him every year, and I don’t know what else to say about that.  I like Norm’s back up RBs, with Beanie Wells poised to have a decent year just on playing time alone, and Addai could prove useful as a fill in though possibly infuriating or worse with Manning out for any length of time.  Dallas Clark is a huge question mark this year, both coming off surgery and also in regards to the Manning issue.  If he regains even a fraction of his old form, the Defenders will be in good shape at TE, though the 9-dollar price tag may seem steep in retrospect if it doesn’t work out.

How much of a head start would you need to beat him in a 100 meter sprint?

9)The Birdmen, C-

If Adam cared as much as most of us about fantasy football, then Peyton Manning’s neck injury would be driving him absolutely crazy.  Eli is no reassuring back up, especially with the extra negative point for pick-sixes this year.  Trust me, I know.   And if you don’t believe me, I’ll set you up for a discussion with Papa Stup.  Then you’ll really know.  Luckily for Adam Carson Palmer is still available and should do well on the road against the NFL’s best defenses just like last year.  Hold on a second while I go fetal again.  Commish did like Birdman’s aggression (angry birds?) in pursuing both McFadden (possible uber-stud of the century of the week) and Fitzgerald (pretty much everyone agrees $41 is too low for that guy so nice get there).  Gates is the usual Gates, a monster when healthy but always with one foot (get it?!?) in the training room.  Also I read he used to play basketball, and can “box out” defenders like he’s in the post, but on the football field – wild I know.  Reggie Wayne’s value will be tied directly to Manning and looks bleaker by the day as Peyton Manning now has an entire delegation of neurosurgeons arguing about what to do with his neck.  I don’t particularly like Matthews as a fantasy back, but Adman loves his Chargers, and in the WR corps Sydney Rice is a talented guy who has a horrendous injury history and an awful QB Tavaris Jackson who followed him like a serial killer from Minnesota to Seattle.  (Seriously, what was Rice’s reaction when he heard the Seahawks signed Jackson?  Did he think he’d just been punk’d?)  Of the Birdmen’s back-ups, there’s nothing particularly inspiring though Garcon (more Colts?) and Spiller are at least intriguing.

Raider Nation gets a new fan; Gabe couldn't be happier

10)Crazy Canucks, C-

I don’t hate Iwan’s draft as much as I did on draft night, but I’m not backing off now.  As I said I actually think that with a trade or two the Canucks could leapfrog about 8 spots or so if they could just land a stud WR.  They still have the top QB in the game and they certainly have enough running backs as trade bait.  I’m not sure what to say about the backs on this team, only that there are a lot of them, many of them (Bradshaw, Hillis, Williams, Hightower) certainly capable if not sure fire studs.  What I really look forward to is Iwan picking the wrong two backs to start each week and pulling his hair out while back X and Y blow up on the bench only to be shut down the following week when they’re in the game as starters.  At WR it’s just a laughable mess.  The Canucks go-to stud?  Stevie Johnson, on the anemic Buffalo offense.  Yikes.  Iwan did corner the market on white PPR burrow guys (Welker, Amendola) in some bizarre type of Adam impression.  It turns out the best WR on this team is the TE Witten.  Commish would just love it if we all just make a pact to not trade Iwan a WR all season.  Can we do that?  Whatever potential gain is out there at RB for some of us it would just be fun to see Iwan go through the entire season with his current WR corps.  Can we make this happen?

Iwan's best running back and Ripley's favorite player

Shame Spirals

They happen every year, making the draft (or parts of it) distressing for those who suffer them, and hilarious for those who witness them.  Let’s quickly look at the players who caused this year’s biggest shame spirals and those they made fetal.

1)Michael Turner – LT’S Crackheeds.  $37 for an unsexy back, especially in PPR format who will probably do fine but brings little excitement to the team aside from a giant ass.  I went back and forth on this one several times during the draft.  I’ve made my peace with it.  I think.

2)Ryan Grant – The Brown Trout.  The price was fine but the PTSD associated with last year’s injury set Little Buhr over the edge emotionally.  Maybe in that pink jersey he was just a ball of hormones.

3)Matthew Stafford – Drafted by the Rat Pack but the shame spiral went to Little Buhr, who really wanted Stafford.  Now he’s left with just unproven Bradford.  Little Buhr was really eaten up about this one.  I think he went home and binged on bon-bons.  Oh wait that was me regarding Turner.

4)Larry Fitzgerald – No less than four other managers who did not get Larry Fitzgerald kicked themselves for not continuing to bid on the mega-stud who sold for $41, which somehow seemed a bargain.  It was made even better when he scored an 80-yard TD a few hours later during the preseason game that was on at the after-party.  A nice get by Birdman.

Attach the Rock of Shame!

 

Player value

It’s tough to really comment on player values by looking at the board after the fact because the draft is a fluid entity with values in flux based on remaining money and tiers of players.   Regardless, it’s fun to try and pick out the steals and rip offs.  Let’s focus on those who might have cost just a bit too much in my opinion.

-Miles Austin, 32$ (For some reason I have doubts about him this year)

-Greg Jennings, 44$ (Roddy White went for the same price.  The spread offense and a healthy Finley are no friend to Jennings.)

-Reggie Wayne, 36$ (Proves me wrong every year, but I sense his production won’t match this price)

-Ryan Matthews, $16 (As long as Tolbert’s around, this guy is looking at 5 TD’s max on the season I think)

-Javhid Best $23 (Went this high probably just because he was nominated early.  Just seems risky as hell.)

-DeSean Jackson $26 (Monster play-maker but how long can be play in the NFL before he gets killed?  Also he’s pissed about his contract issue.  Still, just seems so right on Gabe’s team.)

-Michael Turner $37 (Ten dollars too high in a league where receptions matter)

-Frank Gore, $34 (Don’t trust him a lick)

Alright, that’s it for this draft recap.  Not bad, eh?  Stay tuned to the site, the blog, google plus, and twitter all this week for further updates.  Coming soon, the naming of divisions and that goes with it.  Season starts Thursday!