Monthly Archives: November 2008

Commish Notes – Week 12

General Notes

Week 12 is in the books and the playoffs are really beginning to take shape.  At the conclusion of week 12 we have locked down four official playoff teams (Heeds, GBP, Canucks, Pescas), one unofficial playoff team (Rat Pack), and one likely (would have to try real hard not to get in) playoff team (Birdmen).  Regardless of the final outcome, each division will be sending three teams to the playoffs.

Also locked up are both division titles, with the Crackheeds taking charge of the Joes and getting their second ever division title (last in 2005) and Jonny G assuming the Cobra throne and securing his first ever division crown.  Remember, this is the fifth season of division play.  Teams without a division title in their history?  Only the Mormon Defenders and the Rat Pack.

What remains largely unclear is the seeding of the playoffs. The Crackheeds retain the top seed entering this week by a mere 9 point margin, so seeds 1 and 2 remain very much up in the air.  The Canucks are in the driver’s seat with the 3rd seat on points and will retain that seed if they win this week.  The sixth seed will be either the Defenders or the Birdmen.  The remainder of the seeds are a total crapshoot and depend utterly on the week 13 results.

Week 12 was another week in which every winning team scored enough to beat every losing team, meaning it was quite the lopsided week.  In total three of the games were official Beat Downs (Tm) – meaning games with a 40 point or greater margin of victory.  A fourth game was less than a point away from a beat down (robbed!) and the “close” game of the week was still a 28 point rogering provided by the Rat Pack toward Cobra Kai.  Additionally, every winning team scored over 100 points, and every losing team was below 100 points.  In this regard and in regard to every team scoring enough to beat every losing team, this is the second time in three weeks this has happened, with week 10 being the other.  Week 10 and Week 12 are the only two weeks where either has happened this season.

Glancing through the record book this week, here are some notables:

The Gang now have the hardest strength of schedule and the Crackheeds the easiest.

The Brown Trout are now the lowest scoring team in MLOM.  In the seven other seasons in which team scoring was recorded, they have only finished out of the top half once – in 2005 they were the 8th highest scoring team.  Conversely, the Rat Pack are the highest scoring team in the league, with 1313 points currently and one week left.  They have NEVER finished higher than eighth (!) in scoring at the end of season.  Their record season high for points was in 1374 in 2004 (the league’s highest scoring season – this total was good enough only for 8th that year).

Cobra Kai have 63 TDs to their credit – currently good enough for tops in the leauge

Los Pescaderos have 42 TDs to the their credit – currently good enough for worst in the league.

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Inter-Division Watch

Well, it comes to it at last doesn’t it?  The final battle is here.  Week 13.  Birdmen.  Cobra Kai.  Joe vs. Cobra.  At stake?  The inter-division title.  Pride.  The free world.  How fitting it should come down to a rematch of Spirit Iron Knife versus Stormshadow?  Let the shurikens fly.  Let the eagle Freedom dart in and out and harangue Stormshadow.  It’s time for both of these teams to get their ninja on.

These two met back in week 5 and Cobra Kai ended up victorious behind a blistering attack of Slaton, Johnson, Forte, and surprise weapon JT O’Sullivan.  For the Birdmen, his Lee Evans (18 points) defense was good (very good Little Buhr) but not enough.

What shape will the game take this week?  Fwats is anrgy and bitter.  The Birdman resolute on securing a playoff spot.  Everyone else holds their collective breath…

This Week’s Games

LT’s Crackheeds 126.13 over The Fightin’ Birdmen 86.73

Player of the Game: Drew Brees 41.34 points

The Crackheeds actually trailed by 26 points going into Monday night madness but when was all said and done Drew Brees and Lance Moore made it look easy with 63 points and 6 TDs between them.  The win seals the division crown for the Crackheeds and more importantly a playoff bye.  The Birdmen remain alive and well in the playoff hunt.  They are likely to get in with only a faint glimmer of doubt to suggest otherwise.  They are in with a win, a Defender’s loss, or if they are within 23 points of the Defenders final score, regardless of outcome.  Still, being almost in is not the same as being in, and Commish wonders what kind of stress the Birdmen will endure this week.  They’ve been at 6 wins since week 10 and have managed to drop two straight while watching several other teams march on by and storm into the playoffs.  Also their string of four straight 100+ point games comes to and end this week.  The Crackheeds on the other hand simply keep rolling on, stretching their league-leading winning streak to an impressive 7, which is now a franchise and league record.   They shoot this week for their first ever official 10-win season (they actually did it in season one but results of that year are not recorded).

Fun Fact: LT’s Crackheeds move to 8-6 all-time against the Birdmen.

The Rat Pack 113.87 over Cobra Kai 85.46

Player of the Game: Ryan Lindell – 18 points.

In a game wrought with a lot of fire-power left on the bench, the Rat Pack finally end a 4-game skid by thumping Cobra Kai in the much heralded bitter bowl.  WIth this win they sweep the Cobra Kai Dojo on the season and move unofficially into the playoffs; with their 1300+ points it would be nearly impossible for them not to make it, even if they sat their whole team this week.  The Rat Pack started the season at 4-2 but are only 2-4 in the previous six weeks and thus their very mediocre 6-6 status.  On their side is the fact that they lost 2 games by less than 1 point, a first in MLOM history for a single season.  Perhaps just as important for the Pack is that they’ve put up 100+ points again after three straight weeks of mere double-digit output.   On the other side of the bitter coin is the poor and lowly Cobra Kai, who over the course of the season have veered swiftly away from their supposed “No Mercy” policy only to end up giving out more mercy than just about everyone save Mother Theresa.  Yes, a sad end for the mighty Kai, who have steadily lost more games each successive season since 2005 when they won an impressive 10 (which by the way, was their last season as 1.21 Jigiwatts.)  When it mattered most – the past few weeks – they crumpled and only managed 100+ points once in their last four games.  Fwats must be kicking himself for his RB choices this week, he left 46 RB points on the bench this week and only got 9 from his starters.  His only trace of hope left for the year remains the chance to make Cobra victorious in the Inter-Division war and possibly play spoiler to the Birdmen.

Fun Fact: With this win the Rat Pack move to 7-4 versus the Cobra Kai.  They sweep the season series.

Mormon Defenders 108.49 over Los Pescaderos 40.51

Player of the Game: Tampa Bay Defense – 26 points

The bar has been lowered.  Gabe, apparently unsatisfied with his previous record for worst score ever in a MLOM game (Week 6, 2001, 46.96 points), and perhaps thinking that other teams were wandering too close to his mark (see Crackheeds, week 5), decided to stop fretting and actually do something it.  What courage!  Yes, it comes to this.  We were close, SO close in fact to seeing our first sub-40 point game.  Yeesh.  Poor Gabe Buhr.  What must have it been like for him to walk into his locker room, searching for his new quarterback only minutes before kickoff, only to find a looney and pantsless Donovan McNabb running to and fro in the showers and spreading his own feces all over the walls while laughing like a maniac?   Or perhaps this was planned.  Perhaps Los Pescas saw how the Crackheeds have bounced back from their shit-party in Week 5 and decided to use a similar toilet bowl up approach to initiate a playoff surge?   We shall see.  The good news is that the game was essentially meaningless for Los Pescaderos, as they are already in the playoffs, and despite the severity of this particular stink bomb it is still the only one they have this season.  (Only two teams – The Rat Pack and Cobra Kai – remain stink-bomb free thus far this season.)  The bad news is that this is the franchise’s 8th stink bomb and they are now only one away from the all-time league lead (the Rat Pack have 9).

On the other side of the fence the Defenders get themselves a beat-down win and keep just a little hope alive that they could be a playoff team this year.  Odds are slim but the possibility remains.  The Defenders break a 2-game losing streak and get back on the 100+ point pony, putting up their fifth such effort of the year (4 of those have been wins).  They remain in a do or die situation of course with a tough game against the Canucks this week.  They are also now officially Cobra Kai fans who must beat the Birdmen for the Defenders to have a prayer.  Luckily – praying is exactly what the Defenders do.

Fun Fact: If only the Mormon Defenders could play Los Pescas every week.  They sweep the season series (which accounts for 40% of their victories this year) and move to 5-5 all time against Gabe Buhr.

Crazy Canucks 162.16 over the Gang 99.53

Player of the Game: Randy Moss – 33.33 points

Strong work by the Canucks as they launch into the playoffs and set a franchise record in points in the process.  This game was a blow-up, a beat-down, and basically everything the Canucks needed not only to secure a playoffs spot and get them in the right frame of mind to make a serious run at defending their title.  And all this despite having every player on the road except for Kurt Warner.  The Canucks chalk up their fourth straight win and have won five of their last six. The Gang, on the other hand, lose their 9th game of the season and continue to head for a franchise low.  Despite getting 35 points from the Baltimore defense, they can’t quite manage to crack 100 points, something they’ve only done twice all year.  At 3 wins they remain in the driver’s seat for the top pick in the 2009 draft.

Fun Fact: With this win the Canucks split the season series with the Gang, and move to 6-5 all time.

The GBP 129.55 over the Poo Fish 61.39

Player of the Game: Tony Gonazalez 21.53 points

Say hello to two teams going in different directions.  The GBP cruise to another win in an effort to keep up with the Crackheeds in the race for the number one seed.  With this win they lock down the Cobra Division and a coveted first-round bye in the playoffs.  They continue to get solid across-the-board production without relying too heavily on any one star.  They win their third straight and they’ve now emerged victorious in six out of their last seven.  This is their seventh game over 100 points this season.  And then there’s the Poo Fish, who in some ways might just be having their worst season ever.  Yes they did go 3-10 back in 2005, but this season they’ve put up three stink bombs (all three coming in their last five games) and remember this is a team who only had two in franchise history coming into this season.  They’ve only topped 85 points four times.  Hard to say exactly what has gone wrong, but mostly it looks like injuries (and the Braylon Edwards fiasco) have done in this proud franchise.  Bush, Chambers, Romo, Colston, Maroney, McGahee; just ask the 2007 Rat Pack that’s a hard thing to bounce back from.  With their week 13 opponent (the Rat Pack) already in the playoffs, their really isn’t much left to play for for the Poo Fish in 2008.

Fun Fact: With this win the GBP split the season series with the Poo Fish and move to 7-5 all time against Little Buhr.

Weekly Awards

Player of the Week

Randy Moss – 33.33 points (8 catches, 125 yards, 3 TDs)

Brees got over 40 points but Commish would argue that even more impressive is a 30+ point game from a receiver.

Jon Fogerty sponsored Ronnie Brown Memorial Award

Michael Turner – 36.75 points (117 rush yards, 4 TDs)

Cassel put up 40+ again on the Poo Fish bench but given the stakes of the game for Fwats, and the fact this his starting running backs Parker and Slaton only generated 9 points combined…Commish has to go with the Burner.

“Put me in coach, I’m ready to play…”

Game of the Week

Rat Pack over Cobra Kai

The closest and most playoff shaping of all the games this week.

Team of the Week

Crazy Canucks

Dropped a franchise best-ever 162 points and blasted their way into the playoffs in style.

Coach of the Week

Norm

The only coach who really nailed his optimal lineup this week, kept his team’s slim playoff hopes alive and managed to stay conscious despite the horrific stank emanating from his opponent.

Goat of the Week

Easiest call of the season.  What else needs to be said?  Enter, McFlabb and his negative 6.71 points.   Hey Donovan, come get your horns.

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Good luck to all teams this week!

Commish


Commish Notes Week 11

Week 11 is in the books and we have another short week on our hands – hell week 12 has already started at the time of publishing of these notes.   Commish will be trying to squish these notes into a shortened time frame, so they will be short and to the point.

First and most important, let’s take an updated look at the playoff picture.  Congrats to Los Pescaderos for being the third official playoff team.  Three spots down, three to go.  Let’s take a look at the updated power rankings with kung-fun grip-like playoff emphasis!

In:

1)LT’s Crackheed’s (8-3, 3rd points);  Riding a nutty 6-game win streak after worst performance in franchise history way back in Week 5.  Poised to make a serious run at – gasp – fourth Crown.  Need only one win to lock down the Joe Division.

2)GBP (8-3, 4th in points):  Jonny “G” as in Gettin-it-done despite age, injuries.  Only had more than 7 wins in a season once – back in 2002 had 9.  Has never won the division.  Just keeps finding a way to win.  That’s how you get a Crown.

3)Los Pescaderos (7-4, 5th in points);  Locked up a spot in the dance;  Hoping McNabb can take them to next level. Cobra Pride game this week against the Defenders.

On the Bubble:

4)Fightin’ Birdmen (6-5, 6th in points);  One more win and they’re in.  Tough loss to Gang last week.  Now they have to face Heeds and then an angry Fwats!  Could they possibly drop three in a row and not get in?  Unlikely.

5)Canucks (6-5, 7th in points); Also one win away;  Scrappy defending champs aren’t going down without a fight.  Play the feisty Gang this week, which no longer seems like quite the cakewalk.  Anyone remember the week 3 stinker between these two that the Gang won?

6)Rat Pack (5-6, 2nd in points);  Walking around in a Charlie Brown-like funk for weeks.  What the hell is wrong with this team?  Despite all that’s happened, one win and they’re still likely in.  Two wins and they’re a sure thing.  Can then nab a victory this week against arch-enemy Fwats?

7)Cobra Kai (4-7, 1st in points);  For Fwat the playoffs have already started;  Every game starting now is win or go home.  No mercy.

Not out Mathematically

8)Mormon Defenders (4-7, 8th in points);  Playoffs highly unlikely.  At least they dropped Tom Brady as a holdover for wicked-awesome Chancey Stuckey.  Ugh.  Well, time to focus on winning one for the Joes this week.

9)The Poo Fish (4-7, 9th in points);  Mild vindication regarding Lee Evans this week.  Commish wonders how much time this season was spent openly despising Evans – rather than coaching his team.

Trap Team

10)The Gang (3-8, 10th in points);  Beware the spoiler…

Inter-Division Watch

With the Canucks eeking out a win over the Rat Pack the Joes keep their hopes of an inter-division crown alive.  The current tally stands at 14-13 in favor of Cobra.  This week’s interdivisional game is the Mormon Defenders versus Los Pescaderos.  If Los Pescas win then Cobra will lock up the inter-division crown for 2008.  If the Defenders win, it’s on to the do-or-die Week 13 match up between the Birdmen and Cobra Kai.  Go Joe!

This Week’s Games

LT’s Crackheeds 114.32 over Mormon Defenders 83.64

Player of the Game: Lance Moore – 19.80 points

The Crackheeds continue to roll with their sixth straight victory since the Week Five 48 point debacle, and avenge an early-season loss to the Defenders in the process.  This is the third straight 100+ point effort and their sixth straight with 94 or more.   The Defenders drop their second straight and three out of their last four.  Their playoff hopes at this point are relegated to very unfavorable math at best.  Game highlights include the Giants random benching of Carney for Tynes at the last minute and this was the first game for Brandon Jacobs in a Crackheeds uniform.  Heeds maintain the number one seed and need just one win to clinch the division title, their first in three years.  Defenders have had more points scored against them than any other team this year.

Fun Fact: With this win the Heeds move to 6-8 all-time against the Defenders and split the season series. No team has defeated the Crackheeds more than the Mormon Defenders.

The Gang 117.56 over Fightin’ Birdmen 104.33

Player of the Game: Joseph Addai 28.95 points

Props to the uppity Gang for hanging tough despite having nothing to play for.  Hey, we play these games to win right, no matter the status.  With this win, the Gang snap a 7-game losing streak, worst in franchise history.  (Worst ever losing streaks?  The 2004 Cobra Kai and 2005 Brown Trout both dropped 8 straight.)  This 117 point outing was the Gang’s top effort of the season and only their second game topping 100 points in 2008.  For the Birdmen, a tough loss.  A win would have put them offiicially in the playoffs.  This loss ends a 3-game win streak.  Still, they’ve put up 4 straight games with 100+ points and seem to be rounding into what appears to be some sort of playoff form.  Game highlights included the courageous performance of Tyler Thigpen, the resurrection of Joseph Addai, and of course the goose egg from Commish favorite Lee Evans.

Fun Fact: WIth this win the Gang move to 7-4 against the Birdmen.  They split the season series.


The GBP 107.96 over Cobra Kai 89.15

Player of the Game: Anquan Boldin – 22.15 points

A tough loss for the Cobra Kai, who are now officially in a win or go home position.  For the GBP, another day at the office it seems.  They grab their second straight win, they’re fifth out of the last six, and they keep some distance over Los Pescaderos for control of the vaunted Cobra division.  For the Cobra Kai, they put up their second worst performance of the season (but at 89 points – that ain’t bad), and for just the third time all year they score under 100 points. Unfortunately they’ve done that two of the last three weeks, when it’s mattered most.  The record book states that the Mormon Defenders have had the toughest strength of schedule, but Commish is sure that the Cobra Kai are easily number two and very close to the top spot.  Game highlights included very little.

Fun Fact:  WIth this win the GBP sweep the season series against Fwats and are now 9-5 against him all time.  No one has more wins against Fwats than the the GBP.

Los Pescaderos 131.45 over The Poo Fish 73.17

Player of the Game: TJ Housh 26.01 points

Los Pescaderos notch an impressive win in their belt and drop a blow-up and a beat-down on Little Brother in the process.  WIth this win they break a 2-game losing streak and lock down a playoff spot.  Their 131 point performance was top for the franchise this season, but only their third 100+ point performance this year.  No one has played a softer schedule this year (average score of other team: 88.7 points) and Commish thinks that might be a problem come playoff time.  For Little Buhr another anemic game in what’s turning out to be a nightmare season along the lines of  the 3-10 2005 campaign.  Tony Romo’s reappearance didn’t generate quite the spark that Little Buhr was hoping for.  Can Reggie Bush’s return this week make things any better?  Oddest is the fact that the Poo Fish are still mathematically alive for the playoff hunt, though it would take a lot of help and some terribly unlikely math.  With this loss the Poo Fish drop four of their last five, and haven’t scored above 81 points during that stretch, very poo-like indeed. Game highlights included Romo’s mediocre return to action and McNabb’s mediocre first outing in a Pesca uniform.  Also impressive was Matt Cassel’s 44 points – on the bench.  What might be more impressive is that even if he had played, Little Buhr still would have lost.

Fun Fact: With this win Los Pescaderos sweep the season series and move to 5-6 all-time against Brother, sweet, Brother.

Crazy Canucks 95.72 over the Rat Pack 95.22

Player of the Game: Kurt Warner – 20.86 points

Despite a valiant Monday night comeback effort, the Rat Pack fall short, again this week.  With this loss they’ve dropped four straight and five of their last six.  Wow.  This loss, by a mere 0.5 points, is the second sub-one-point loss by the Rat Pack this season, and by itself this game qualifies for the ninth closest game ever in MLOM.  Remember of course, that the Rat Pack were losers in week 1 by a mere 0.11 points, the second closest game of all time in MLOM.  Woe indeed, is the Rat Pack.  The Canucks on the flip-side, get a huge win and vault very close to a playoff berth.  They need just one more win to lock up a spot, but could still get in with some help even if they lose two straight.  The Canucks notch their third straight win, and their fourth in five, and are looking sharp just at the right time.  Game highlights of this one included many things.  Sticking out in commish’s mind is the disatrous performance of “Law Firm”, Ben-Jarvis Green-Ellis.

Fun Fact: WIth this win the Canucks move to 5-4 all-time against the Rat Pack.

Weekly Awards

Player of the Week

Joseph Addai – 28.95 points

Finally acting like first round talent.

Jon Fogerty-sponsored Ronnie Brown Memorial Award

Matt Cassel – 44.25 points

“Put me in Coach, I’m ready to play…”

Game of the Week

Canucks over Rat Pack

Huge win for Canucks and huge loss for Rat Pack.  Ninth closest game in league history.

Team of the Week

Los Pescaderos

Kaboom – we have a blow up.  Los Pescas lock up playoff spot in style with blow-up, beat-down win over brother, sweet, brother.

Coach of the Week

Iwan Thomas

Thomas coaxed just enough out of his team to come up with this huge win for himself, the Joes, and even Canada.   The difference between 6-5 and 5-6 off of this win is huge.  E-ron could have won the game with a more optimal line-up, whereas Iwan had his best 9 on the field.  Strong work Canuck.

Goat of the Week

Well, it’s tough.  Commish knows there are certain factions within MLOM who want to see a certain Lee E. – no wait too obvious – L. Evans here in this spot.  But it ain’t happening.  He made a strong case no doubt, but Commish has to roll with “Law Firm”, better known as Ben-Jarvis Green-Ellis who managed only a dismal 9 rushing yards on the week.  It would only have taken another 10 measely yards from this cat for the Rat Pack to be victorious.  Law Firm, come get your horns….

Hononorable Mention: Chicago Defense, Tony Scheffler, John Carney (dude got pulled last minute), Antonio Gates, and yes, finally, Lee Evans.

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Good luck to all teams this week!

Commish


Commish Notes – Week 10

The season is winding down and things are getting tense.  With just three games to go certain elements of the playoff picture get clearer while others become harder to resolve.  Congrats to the first unofficial official playoff teams, the Crackheeds and GBP who both get their seventh wins this week.  While not 100% mathematically in the playoffs at this point, their odds are overwhelming (every other team with a winning record in the history of MLOM has been in the playoffs) and so Commish declares them officially (unofficially)…IN.  Two spots down, four to go.  So let’s see what’s left.  The Rat Pack and Los Pescaderos, rather than finding ways to win and get in the playoffs, are instead both riding losing streaks now, with Los Pescas losing a quick two and the Rat Pack dropping their last three.  What’s going on?  Does Commish have to alter his playoff prediction chart?  Let’s look at the most updated standing and likely scenarios:

In:

Crackheeds:  (7-3, 3rd most points);  With playoffs in the books, have to work on getting the bye week to avoid mediocre week 14 match-up for Brees.  Huge divisional games loom.

GBP:  (7-3, 4th most points);  Week 1 game and 0.0000001 point win over Rat Pack is a monster win right now.  GBP have 3 wins of less then 5 points this year.  Now they can breathe easy, focus on getting healthy.

Next up:

The Birdmen (6-4, 5th most in points): Huge jump in the rankings for the B-men.  Rivers and Manning provide a stud QB backdrop which is imporant;  LT ices the cake.  Oh yeah, and their best player remains…Lee Evans.  See you in the playoffs B-men.

Los Pescaderos (6-4, 7th in points); Lack of offensive production (read: points) is alarming, but wins are wins and they remain just a win away;  They need a new QB; What to do, what to do…Enter McNabb.

The Rat Pack (5-5, 1st in points);  With their point total only really need one win to have a good chance; two wins is a lock.  But they’re fading fast lately.  WR’s other than Fitz are ice cold of late.  Do we have this season’s 2007 Defenders on our hands?

Crazy Canucks (5-5, 6th in points); They control their own destiny and have the league’s hottest player in K-dub, plus a favorable schedule.  So why does Commish have an uneasy feeling that they could drop like a rock?

Cobra Kai (4-6, 2nd in points);  It’s simple for Fwats; win, win, win and they’re in.  Next up on the No Mercy Train?  The GBP.

Mormon Defenders (4-6, 8th in points);  They looked a lot better in the standings last week.  Points total won’t help any tie-breakers.  Need to win out to have a shot.  Next up on the Missionary Hit List?  The Devil’s Own Heeds!

Smell ya’ next season:

The Poo Fish (4-6, 9th in points):  A Romo resurgence and this low listing by the Commish in the power rankings could provide a spark.  Hey, they win out and they’re in.  Do they have what it takes?  Next up?  Brother, sweet Brother.

The Gang (2-8, 10th in points);Mathematically out and headed squarely for franchise’s worst season unless they win out; Time to play spoiler.  Next up:  Fightin’ Birdmen.)

Inter-Division Watch

Early in the season it looked like Cobra would run away with things, kind of like the time Cobra decided to build Serpentor.  Cobra operatives scrambled across the world raiding tombs of the great historic dictators in order to obtain samples of their DNA to build the ultimate Cobra Leader.  At first the Joes were confused and ineffective (like the early part of the 2008 MLOM Season) while Cobra beat them to the mark time and again and stayed ahead of them at every turn.  Later, the Joes caught on and put up a much better fight (analagous to the past few weeks in MLOM).  Eventually, Serpentor was built and though fairly effective (especially in the comic book, not as much in the cartoon series) didn’t provide the dominant leader Cobra had expected.  This mixed result led to lots of Cobra infighting and the Joes evenually staved off Cobra’s new leadership and got the upper hand again.  So what happens next and where exactly does MLOM pick up the tale?  Does the Cobra Serpentor plan succeed?  Do they get him made and does he lead them to victory?  Or do the Joes, led by Duke, Snake Eyes, and the rest, find a way to stop them before it’s too late?  Find out in Marvel Comics!  (Or the MLOM Playoffs – either one.)   (By the way, and Commish is just ad-libbing here, but that Cobra plan to sample all sorts of conqueror DNA (i.e from Napolean, Genghis Kahn, Sun Tzu, Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, etc.) to build the ultimate leader was more or less the single coolest plot line from anything I can ever remember as a kid.  So cool.  Can someone make it so Commish is 12 years old again and life is simple?  Thanks.)

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Anyway, with Jonny G’s triumphant come-from-behind win over The Gang the Cobra Legions retain their foothold on the inter-divisional series.  A PPR win would have brought the inter-division battle to an even tally, at 13-13.  But with a late rally the GBP keep the Cobra hopes of inter-divisional dominance alive and maintain a 14-12 edge in the inter-division series.  They need only one more win in the next three games (Canucks vs. Rat Pack – Week 11, Pescaderos vs. Defenders – Week 12, Birdmen vs. Cobra Kai – Week 13) to officially win the series for the season.  Regardless of who wins (go Joe!), Commish remains pleased at the way the Joes fought back from an early beating to make the inter-divisional battle at least respectable.  Also, Cobra once dominated the points scale with all five of the highest scoring teams.  Commish knew it was too impossible to last, and so here we are now, much more balanced.  Cobra has teams 1,2, and 4 in terms of points, whereas the Joes have made headway, now controlling spot 3 and 5, and they appear to be climbing.  Now, let’s take a look at the winners and loser of inter-divisional play thus far:

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Record in Inter-Divisional Play:

GI Joe

Crackheeds:  4-1

Birdmen: 3-2

Defenders: 1-4

Canucks: 4-1

The Gang: 0-6 (yikes!)

Cobra

Cobra Kai: 3-2

Rat Pack: 3-2

GBP: 4-2

Los Pescaderos: 2-3

The Poo Fish: 2-3

Analysis:  Wow, take the Gang’s atrocius inter-division losing streak away and the Joes aren’t half bad.  In fact, the Birdmen, Heeds, and Canucks have a combined 11-4 record against Cobra, making them Duke, Snake Eyes, and Flint in just about any order!  Still, every team counts and every game counts, and we’ll see where this ends up.

Other Issues:

Commish keeps wanting to d a draft recap but keeps running out of time each week with the otherwise cumbersome notes.  Here’s something fun in case peeps don’t check this stuff out.  Here are the top 5 in each skill position to date.

QB:

Kurt Warner (Canucks)-226 points

Drew Brees (Crackheeds) -221 points

Rivers (Birdmen) – 213 points

Cutler (Rat Pack) – 208 points

Rodgers (Defenders) -182 points

RB:

Portis (GBP) – 156 points

Peterson (Crackheeds) -149 points

Forte (Canucks) – 145 points

Thomas Jones (Crackheeds) – 139 points

Jacobs (Crackheeds, now) – 135 points

WR:

Boldin (GBP) – 133 points

FItzgerald (Rat Pack) – 129 points

Roddy White (Cobra Kai) – 128 points

Andre Johnson (Cobra Kai) – 123 points

Santana Moss (Defenders) – 118 points

TE:

Gonzalez (GBP) – 94 points

Gates (Cobra Kai) – 83 points

Witten (The Gang) -75 points

Daniels (Crackheeds) -73 points

Cooley (Rat Pack) – 65 points

This Week’s Games

LT’s Crackheeds 113.01 over The Rat Pack 85.50

Player of the Game:  Thomas Jones, 33.42 points (149 rush yards, 3 TDs)

After a quick 37 points by Jay Cutler on Thursday night it looked like this game was heading distinctly in the Rat Pack’s direction.  Cut away to Sunday, when the Crackheed backs (cutely called “Crackbacks” for short – tee hee!) decided to shoulder the load and deliver the goods.  Despite five Crackheed players scoring only 5 points or less, the Heeds managed to throw up a 113 point game.  The aforementioned backs, Peterson and Jones, accounted for 64+ points all by themselves.  Part of the Heeds victory, it must be said, was pure luck.  On the last play of the Saints game, Brees chucked a 32 yard hail mary which bounced off of several hands before landing in the grasp of Lance Moore in the endzone.  A meaningless “real life” touchdown ended up giving the Heeds approximately 15 or more points on one play.  By itself it was not enough to account for the win, but with the game up in the air at the time Commish just hopes Rat Pack skipper E-ron didn’t have to witness that play and lose 3 years off his life in stress in the process.  As for the Pack, they continue to struggle this week with only 3 players getting into double digits.  Cutler probably would have locked up the POW if the Rat Pack had won, but well, they didn’t.  It appears that the Steven Jackson injury and the slow-down of Jennings and Steve Smith couldn’t have come at a worse time.  The Rat Pack have now dropped three straight, and have lost their leading scorer title to division rival and hated enemy Cobra Kai.  Their last two games represent two of their weakest three efforts of the season and they’ve scored less and less points each of the last four weeks – a disturbing trend.  The Heeds, on the other hand, continue to roll.  They get their fifth straight win, their seventh total, they lock up a playoff spot and they are only a few key wins away from locking up the division and enjoying a first round bye.  Somehow their receiver woes don’t seem as dire as they once did, and since the infamous 48 point stink-bomb in Week 5, the Heeds have been all business, getting over 100 points three times (including the 162 point blow up) and not scoring less than 94 points.  Commish has to say it, this is a well oiled machine right now.  But they’re not done yet.  Those division games coming up are going to be huge.

Fun Fact:  With this win the Heeds continue to molest the Pack, as if with a cordless phone antenna (inside joke); they move to 8-1 all time, and this has become the most lopsided rivalry in the league (since Iwan has now beat Fwats twice).

Fightin’ Birdmen 100.87 over Los Pescaderos 84.63

Player of the Game: NYJ Defense – 31 points (1 TD, 3 points allowed, 2 sacks, 2 interceptions, 3 fumble recoveries)

The good news for Los Pescaderos is that their game plan to take away Lee Evans worked to perfection.  (The Ninja Master of all WRs was held to just 2.47 points this week.  You see, Ninjas like Lee Evans are also trained in the art of diversion.)  The bad news is that many of the other Birdmen had good games.  Wait, strike that.  Actually it was really just Rivers and the Jets Defense, who together accounted for 54.80 points and provided the foundation for another Birdman win, their third straight.  WR production was poor at best for both teams in this game, with all 6 WRs combining for just 30 points or so, total.  Gabe finally coaxed a good performance out of his QB, but it wasn’t enough with the rest of his team lacking, save Brandon Jacobs, who’s now off the team by the way.  Just a few short weeks ago it seemed that the rest of MLOM would stand by and watch the Rat Pack and Los Pescaderos battle it out for the Crown.  Things certainly can change fast.  With this defeat, Los Pescaderos dropped their second straight and three of their last four.  It’s as if Cobra Commander himself has relinquised command and handed it over to Major Bludd.  Or is this all part of the plan?  The good news for the Pescas is that they need just one more win to climb into the playoffs.  And, yup it’s official, they just made a deal to start working on that QB consistency problem.  The cost?  Only a goddam Man Beast named Jacobs.  And on the other of the fence sit the Birdmen.  With three straight wins they have their sights set on retaking the division lead, and they remain right on the Crackheed’s heels.  A week 12 battle with said Heeds could turn out to be THE showdown for the Joe Division.  Commish wonders how often Adman scours the schedule to see when the Bolts actually play a good defense.  For a glimpse of the playoff Birdmen, the Bolts play the Raiders in week 14, KC in week 15, and Tampa Bay in Week 16.

Fun Fact: With this win the Birdmen break the series tie with Los Pescaderos, taking a 4-3 lead.  Los Pescas have scored between 75 and 99 points in eight of ten games this season, making for remarkable consistency.

Cobra Kai 121.37 over The Mormon Defenders 93.61

Player of the Game: Mewelde Moore – 22.95 points (57 rush yards, 2 TD’s, 6 receptions for 48 yards)

It’s only fitting that at the tail end of election week would MLOM’s biggest liberal meet its biggest conservative.  And, also perhaps fitting, the game went the way of the election – to the liberal.  Commish was about to say that Fwats finally got his groove back with this win, but in putting up 121 points he really only put up his fourth best performance of the season.  Nice work was the fact that the Cobra Kai put six of nine players in double digits (none of those less than 13 points) and two other players quite close.  Only Robbie Gould didn’t show up with a measely two point performance.  What’s remarkable about the Cobra Kai team is the fact that they’ve only scored under 100 points TWICE all season.  Twice.  Yet here they sit at 4-6, a travesty of fate and fortune.  The heavy reliance on the Falcons is amusing to Commish, and seems like a great plan, but what happens if the Falcons are shut down for a week, say in the playoffs?  Fwats could be in trouble.  Though despite the strong effort and being the top scoring team in all of MLOM to date, the Cobra Kai still have a tough road ahead.  Every game left is a must win and they face three of the top five teams in the GBP, the Birdmen, and the Rat Pack.  Wouldn’t it be some fight to watch the Rat Pack and Cobra Kai battle it out for that last playoff spot in week 13?  Could happen.  Despite some decent play of late, the Defenders find themselves struggling for air amidst the churning waters of MLOM.  A tough loss this weekactually could signal the end of their season.  If they win out from here, they’re still a playoff team.  But lose a single game and it will be down to the fate of points at best.  Aaron Rodgers put up a serious let-down game this week, and despite a great performance by MJD the Defenders just didn’t have enough firepower to butt heads and win against the surging Cobra Kai.  If they grab a win or two in the next couple of weeks, their week 13 match-up against the Canucks could prove the difference between playoff life or death.

Fun Fact: With this win Fwats grabs a 5-4 edge in the lifestime series against the Mormon Defenders.

Crazy Canucks 115.74 over The Poo Fish 56.87

Player of the Game: Kurt “K-dub” Warner – 37.11 points (32 of 42, 328 yards, 3 TDs, 0 picks)

Ladies and gentlemen, Kurt Warner.  All he does is blow up.  Commish isn’t sure who else envisioned this, but imagining bosom buddies Iwan and Little Buhr go at it here in MLOM is kind of like watching those two old guys on the Muppets turn and just start whaling on each other until one drops.  In the end, poor Little Buhr and his One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Poo Fish are dealing with injuries and are stuck throwing scrubs like Sage Rosenfels and Jamal Charles into lineups.  Something tells Commish that every time Little Buhr hits “Submit” on his lineup the past few weeks, his facial expression resembles that of someone who has just caught a whiff of a devastating fart.  Fact is, Little Buhr has been absolutely reeling since the injuries to Bush and Romo.  Since scoring 129 points in week 6, his Poo Fish have played like their namesake, and have been unable to garner more then 81 points in any week since, including two stink bombs.  (Coming into this season, the Poo Fish had only two stink bombs in their team history.)  With Romo and Bush due back soon, it’s possible that the Poo Fish could make some noise late in the season, but Commish thinks it’ll be too little, too late.  Still, if they put they together three wins then odds are they’ll crawl into the playoffs.  Maybe they still have a chance.  For the defending champs, they’ve done what champs do.  Hang around, win just enough games, maybe put a run together.  And here they are.  Sitting at 5-5 and without a brutal schedule ahead (Rat Pack, Gang, Defenders), the Canucks are in good position to make a run and show everyone what they’ve got.  Plus they’ve got K-dub – currently the league’s top scoring player – on their side and therefore, from what my sources tell me, Jesus as well.  (The Mormon Defenders really screwed up on draft day with this one.)  Could we see a run like last season where K-dub went nuts and brought the Canucks a Crown?  Commish certainly hopes not.  But of course, he knows Iwan hopes so.  And damn it’s hard to root against K-dub.

Fun Fact: WIth this win the Canucks move to 5-3 all time agains the Poo Fish.  This “Beat Down” for the Canucks registers as the franchise’s 10th.  Only the Gang and The Poo Fish themselves have more.

The GBP 102.01 over The Gang 98.04

Player of the Game:Tony Gonzalez – 27.53 points (10 catches for 113 yards, 2 TDs)

Try as they might, the poor Gang just can’t seem to catch a break.  Fairly well ahead going into MNM, Commish for one thought the Gang had this game locked up.  WIth a 20 point lead and a RB and WR against the GBP’s WR and DEF, how could they lose?   Commish hears that PPR flew out to Arizona to personally oversee the proceedings.  And all for naught.  The GBP fought back using Anquan Boldin and the subtle Arizona Defense, amassing 30+ points while Tim Hightower looked like a rookie and Ike Bruce looked like a fogey.  Must be tough.  The Gang dropped their seventh straight, a franchise record.  It seems that neither Roston man can catch a break right now, with PPR’s seven game losing streak and Eryn’s three game losing streak.  Life is tough in the Roston house.  It’s no wonder Seando had those kleenex.  Where do the Gang go from here?  Commish guesses nowhere but up.  Also, Commish suspects they might just shock someone in the next three weeks, possibly even Commish’s own Heeds.  On the other side there’s the GBP.  With the heroic comeback they snag a playoff spot, steal the Cobra Division lead, and win their fourth out of their last five games.  This season they’ve notched up six of ten 100+ point games as well.  Commish keeps waiting for the age and injury issues to crop up, and though those issues HAVE cropped up, they haven’t been enough to derail this team.  7-3 is nothing to scoff at.  Next up for the GBP are the Cobra Kai followed by a little Brothers Buhr sandwhich.  And then, more importantly, the playoffs.

Fun Fact: With this win Jonny G moves to 5-4 against the Gang.  With this MLOM Official Close Win (win less than 5 points), Jonny G racks up his third such win of the season.  He now has 9 total, tops amongst all MLOM teams.  He also has more close losses than any other MLOM team, with 8.

Weekly Awards

Player of the Week

Kurt Warner – 37.11 points (32 of 42, 328 yards, 3 TDs)

Chalk up another POTW for K-dub, no stranger to this award over the years in MLOM.  Currently he’s the highest scoring player not just at QB, but in all MLOM right now.  K-dub baby!  Still got it!

Jon Fogerty Sponsored Ronnie Brown Memorial Award

Tough call this week with several players making great cases:  Kellen Winslow, Willis Mcgahee, Steve Breaston, Eddie Royal, Donvan McNabb, Peyton Manning, Brady Quinn, and Ricky Williams all bested 20 points from the bench this week AND outplayed someone at their position who was starting.  That said, Commish is left simply picking the highest scoring non-QB player left on the bench, and that’s Eddie “Money” Royal, who stands out with 25.89 points on the Rat Pack bench.  He might have two tickets to paradise, but he still rides the pine.

“Put me in coach, I’m ready to play…”

Game of the Week

GBP over The Gang

This game was the closest, the last to be resolved with solid MNM, and also has huge implications in the ongoing struggle for supremacy between Cobra and GI Joe.  WIth this comeback win Jonny G notches up a sure playoff spot and can now make his move toward dominating the Cobra division.  Great game, great comeback.  And another tough loss for the Gang.

Team of the Week

Cobra Kai

There was certainly no mercy this week with Fwat’s Karate Army sporting the highest score of the week in a must-win situation.  They have to get hot and stay hot (and ready to pop).  No let downs.  No Mercy.

Coach of the Week

With every other winning coach having an obvious coaching blunder this week (Crackheeds – benched Winslow; Birdmen – benched Smith and higher production WRs; Canucks – benched Wayne; GBP – Benched Run Ricky Run), so that leaves Fwats, who led his team to victory in a must-win situation and made “all the right moves” as if he were on a wedding dance floor.  In short, that guy’s “awesome”, and he’s also Commish’s Week 10 Coach of the Week!

Goat of the Week

Bernard Berrian.  While it’s true that the Philly Defense posted the lowest score of the week (something that will bring a smile to Commish’s lips every time – especially when it’s because of the G-men), and then were several players who dropped goose eggs like it was going out of style (Chambers, Stuckey), Commish feels obligated to select Bernard Berrian as the goat of the week.  He dropped a goose egg when all he needed to do was catch even a few moderate passes to propel his team to victory.  Mr. Berrian, come get your horns.

bernardberrianvikingsuglygoat1

Good luck to all teams in week 11!

Commish


Commish Notes Week 9

Upset City

With the GI Joe Division finally deciding to make good on their mantra and Fight For Freedom Wherever’s the Trouble (“trouble” being wherever Cobra lurks), Commish declares Week 9 of the 2008 season Upset Week.  Four of Five underdogs take home a win this week and as a result we have the unexpected, namely a murkier playoff picture now than we had entering the week.  Let’s take a closer look at the playoff possibilities again.  Last week Commish suggested that Los Pescas, the GBP, The Crackheeds, and the Rat Pack were all very likely to make the playoffs.  And even though three of those four teams lost this week, those four teams still retain the top four spots in the standings and so Commish sees no reason to change those projections.  Last week Commish also theorized that the Joes would send another team to the playoffs and Cobra also would send an additional team, making a total of four Cobra teams and just two Joe teams total.  What this week’s results might change most is that balance, as it now seems entirely possible that the Joes could send three teams to match the three teams from Cobra.  This new projection leaves the Cobra Kai in quite a lurch.  Last week they were a projected playoff team, but now at 3-6 and with the tragic loss of would-be savior Kyle Orton Commish might have to reverse field here a little.  Cobra Kai officially out?  Not yet, but it’s become very close.  Also, Little Buhr held the line, got a win, and now sits at 4-5, improving his chances.  That said, Commish doesn’t like his future schedule in the last few weeks (he only won with 82 points as it was this week), and without Romo and Bush Commish still fears the worst for the 2008 Poo Fish.  What might be most interesting is the dog-fight in the Joe Division to get to the playoffs.  The Crackheeds have a nice cushion, but right behind are the hungry Birdmen, the steadily improving Defenders, and the enigmatic Canucks.  With all that said, here’s the Commish’s latest playoff predictions:

Likely In:

Crackheeds (need just one more win, also starting to come together a bit)

GBP (Big Ben’s injury could be a set-back, but still need just one more win)

Rat Pack (Still have the talent, should right the ship and be a playoff team)

Los Pescaderos (Another team that’s one win away, will be interesting to watch the QB play of this squad; also they won’t win any points-based tie-breakers)

(Note: It is very possible, and dare Commish say likely that one of the above four teams takes a dive and doesn’t make it.  Anyone care to wager?)

The next most likely, in order:

1)Birdmen (getting 10 more points a game courtesy of bad Charger’s defense alone)

2)Defenders (sassy team finding it’s stride; Rodgers is the key)

3)Canucks (Enigmatic team has four wins which keeps them in the hunt, but an average per game score which keeps them out)

4)Poo Fish (Injuries too much, tough schedule late)

Likely Out But maybe not:

Cobra Kai (a hell of a tough road but might just have the talent to do it; though they MUST secure a quarterback)

Out:

The Gang (Start thinking about that first pick)

Inter-Divison Watch

joe4

Well this is the week that many Joe enthusiasts were waiting for, with the Joes finally pushing back and pushing back hard.  This could symbolize the part of each GI Joe episode where the Cobra leadership shows their true colors and starts arguing with each other over who is right.  With a 4-1 record for the Joes this week, they manage to close the season gap to a somewhat respectable 9-12 against Cobra.  Week 10 marks the last week of hot and heavy all inter-division action and so this week’s game could make things very close…or put the final stamp on the season in terms of Cobra versus Joe.

This Week’s Games

LT’s Crackheeds 162.03 over The GBP 77.74

Player of the Game: Antonio Bryant 20.67  (Runner Up: McNabb – 27.56 points)

Wow.  Just five weeks ago Commish was lamenting the world after dropping the worst performance in franchise history, not to mention the third worst stink-bomb of all time in MLOM.  Fast Forward to this week, where Commish is beaming after four straight wins, to include especially this most recent win, an awe-inspiring blow-up and beat down all at once.  While not the most points in a game in franchise history (nor good enough even to crack the mighty MLOM top ten – so close), this was the Crackheed’s biggest win ever, in terms of margin of victory, tipping the scales at 84.29 points, good enough for third biggest win of all-time in MLOM.  And all without superstar Drew Brees!   Also remarkable is the fact that every Heed player scored in double digits, even bong-face Santonio Holmes and I’m-Really-A- Has-Been Torry Holt.  Perhaps more impressive was the fact that four players topped the 20 point mark, none more unlikely than player of the game Antonio Bryant.  Now the Heeds are 6-3 and in prime position to possibly take the Joe Division and secure the all-important first-round bye.  On the other side of the fence sits Jonny G who by all logic was the favorite in this game going in.  Let down game?  Possibly, though who could have predicted such a Crackheed’s blow-up in the absence of Brees.  Despite a decent perfomance from about half his team, Jonny G did suffer another let down by the up and down Big Ben, and managed only 77 total points. Commish advice?  Throw this game tape away and simply move on to next week.  The GBP still sit at 6-3 and really just needs one more win to secure a playoff spot and focus on getting healthy for the playoffs.  That said, Commish suspects there are two red eyes currently scouring the net for reports of a Big Ben shoulder MRI…

Fun Fact: With this win the Crackheeds move to 4-3 over the GBP.  As mentioned above, this game is the third biggest Beat Down of all time, with a margin of victory of 84.29 points.  Sadly for the GBP, this is not even their biggest loss, as they are also part of the second biggest Beat Down of all time, losing by 107.30 points to Fwats (back in the 1.21 Jigiwatt days) in week 13 of 2004.


Fightin’ Birdmen 110.10 over the Rat Pack 90.92

Player of the Game: NY Jets Defense 24.00 points

The Birdman and Rat Pack rivarly (or Picasa vs. Flickr as it’s colloquially known), has become a favorite of the Commish’s.  The series hasn’t gone the Rat Pack’s way lately, though, and this win it’s now four straight for the Birdmen.  This week’s win is another Joe over Cobra upset victory, with the up and down Birdmen defeating one of the league’s best teams in the Pack.  What’s even more impressive is that Birdman skipper Adman managed to coax 110 points and a win out of his Charger-less squad!  Chalk it up to a couple of savvy wire moves, which traditionally are not the Birdman’s strength.  On the flip side, Commish isn’t sure what’s wrong with the Pack these past few weeks. This once unbeatable-seeming team has now dropped two straight and has lost three of its last four.  On the field it seems problems start with Steven Jackson and his lack of health (Commish Dx: Recurrent Vaginitis) and therefore performance.  Lynch and Cutler played just fair, and when a receiver dependent team like the Pack has a little letdown in production from that position(Fitz and Jennings appearing suddenly ordinary this week), it can be let down city.  Still, 90 points is nothing to scoff at and the Pack still retain the current scoring crown, which will serve them well for tie-breakers and of course prestige.  They’ve only scored less than 90 once this season, and when a team is doing that, as far as Commish is concerned, they’re still playoff bound and still likely to do great things.  (Unless they’re the 2008 Cobra Kai).   For the Birdmen it appears they have rebounded nicely with two strong wins after an abrupt three game losing streak.  This team is like many in the Joe Division, up one week and down the next, generally hard to predict.  This week’s game, again Charger-Free, was the Birdmen’s third game over 100 points this season and third highest total.  Hopefully for Adman they can build on it and keep it going down the stretch and secure a playoff spot.

Fun Fact: With this win the Birdmen move to 7-4 all time against the Rat Pack


Crazy Canucks 85.05 over Cobra Kai 78.58

Player of the Game: Kurt K-Dub Warner 29.45 points

Iwan finally got it right this week when he deployed K-dub into the game like a giant killer robot this week.  (Of course, he really had no choice with “Del Homey” on bye.)   After languishing on the bench last week (and taking home a nice Ronnie Brown Memorial Award Commish might add), K-dub activated and delivered the goods again (with nearly the same score – he had 29 points last week too), only this time actually in the game!  The Canucks might be the most enigmatic team in MLOM this season; they are nearly .500, but have the second lowest points in the league.  However, they’ve also topped 125 points twice.  They STILL haven’t scored between 88 and 125 points all season, a 37 points no-man’s-land point range where most decent teams live each week.  Take away the two big scoring games and Iwan’s average score per game is just 80.6 points – hey guess what, that’s not good.  Still, the Canucks have four wins and are in position to make a run at the playoffs.  This week Iwan certainly didn’t dominate but did just enough by leaning on old faithful, K-dub.  His only other double digit player?  Why it was new Canuck, Matt Forte who was it seems “Screaming For Vengeance” at Marc Fortier, master of his old team.  Meanwhile on the other side former Canuck Roddy White laid an egg against HIS old team; possibly he was hungover from last week’s point explosion.  Can anyone believe that the Cobra Kai team had FIVE players in double digits in this game, and still lost?  Well, it happened.  Sadly, only one of those got more than 12 points – it was Michael Turner with just 14.  Alas, poor Fwats.  Possibly his mind was elsewhere this week, possibly on fatherhood?  His Cobra Kai Dojo now sits at 3-6 and has some serious work to do if they want to get into the playoffs.  Problem is, time is running out.  Simply put, he has to win out from here to get in.  One loss and he could still get lucky.  More than one loss?  Well then we’ll see him next season.

Fun Fact: With this win the Canucks continue to slowly eat into Fwat’s former “lifetime undefeated” boast, getting their second win ever against Fwats.  They are now 2-5 in recorded history.  And for the record, to date, every time Fwats has beaten Iwan in a season, Iwan doesn’t win the Crown.  However, if Fwat’s hasn’t beaten Iwan in a season? If that happens – Iwan wins the Crown.  (Season 1 – No Fwats,  Season 9 – Iwan finally beats Fwats).


Mormon Defenders 92.68 over Los Pescaderos 87.08

Player of the Game: Chris Johnson 21.22

It’s only fitting that Light Blue Jesus (Chris Johnson) helped carry God’s chosen to victory this past week.  Don’t look now but the Defenders are getting frisky as of late, with three wins in their last four games.  This week, the corpse formerly known as Chad Ocho Cinco was reanimated and actually looked like the Chad Ocho Cinco of old.  Rodgers continues to look like he’s the real deal, putting up 15 against aeven the Titan’s good defense.  With players like MJD, Santana Moss, and Desean Jackson, the Defenders seem like a team than can lull you to sleep and then suddenly blow up.   If they can sneak into the playoffs they might very well be able to surprise some people.  On the flipside, Los Pescaderos have dropped two of their last three and are suddenly looking pretty beatable.  With Barber carrying the load for the now-godawful (love it!) Cowboys (and getting more focused on and hence stuffed as a result), could Gabe consider benching the Barbarian?  Also problematic is the lingering questions at quarterback.  In Edwards and Garrard Gabe essentially has two QB’s who MIGHT play decent, but are more likely to be pretty damn mediocre.  What Commish does like is the NYG connection on Los Pescas, with NYG Defense and Brandon Jacobs both being certifiable beasts.  For that reason alone, it at least seems like Commish is in a sense rooting for Los Pescas each week, and that’s something right?  ( Commish is pretty sure he wouldn’t want to tackle any charging NFL running back, but Brandon Jacobs more or less tops that list.)  Of note all three “C. Johnson’s” who were on display had good games this week, with Megatron nabbing 15.77 points, Ocho Cinco getting 16.97 points, and of course Light Blue Jesus (Commish should have named his old Pathfinder this) rocking out with 21 total points to top them all.  These two teams will meet again in three weeks.

Fun Fact: With this win the Defenders move to 4-5 all time against Los Pescaderos.


The Poo Fish 81.54 over The Gang 62.31

Player of the Game: Donald Driver 21.57 points

Well it seems the Poo Fish were the only “favored” team to win this week, and they alone prevented the Joes from sweeping the Cobras.  (For the record, Commish looked it up, there has only been one inter-division sweep in a week in the history of MLOM.  In week 10 of the 2006 season, the Decepticons swept the Autobots – a sad day for Prime et al.)  Perhaps Little Buhr took Commish’s prediction of his not making the playoffs and made it proper bulletin board material.  However, and Commish thinks this is more likely, perhaps he just took advantage of a sluggish Gang squad that can’t seem to score this year.  The Poo Fish posted 81.58 points, which is nothing impressive however it does look better when one realizes that two of his players (Miller, McGahee) put up a big fat goose egg this week.  Commish does give Little Buhr props for hanging in despite the absence of Romo and Bush.  Unfortunately for Little Buhr, he can’t play the Gang every week, and three of his last four games are going to be tough (Canucks, Pescas, GBP, Rat Pack – in order).  He’ll need to pull out two of those to have a prayer and if he can win three he’s almost assuredly a playoff team.  Problem is Commish just doesn’t see it happening.  On the other side, there is the poor Gang.  With just 62 points to show, the Gang chalked up their second worst outing of the season and their sixth straight loss.  Worse, the Gang have now put up four stink bombs this season, which might be a record (even the lowly 2007 Rat Pack only had three).  The Gang only had three stink bombs in all other recorded seasons combined prior to this season!  Alas, poor Papa Roston.  On a bright note, he did snag potential stud Tim Hightower at the perfect time.  Possible holdover?  Time will tell.  Here’s wishing the Gang better days ahead.

Fun Fact:  With this win the Poo Fish improve to 7-2 all-time against Papa Roston.  Fact is, the Buhr Brothers always seem to beat up on PPR, with a collective record of 14-4 against the Gang!  Coming into this season, PPR was .500 or better against EVERY other team!

Weekly Awards


Player of the Week:

Kurt Warner 29.45 points; Final Stat Line: 23 of 34, 342 yards, 2 TDs, -2 yards rushing

Jon Fogerty sponsored Ronnie Brown Memorial Award:

Derek Mason, 22.57 points.  Final Stat Line: 9 receptions, 136 yards, 1 receiving TD

“Put me in Coach, I’m ready to play…”

Game of the Week:

Mormon Defenders over Los Pescas;  Huge win for the Defenders, who’s two “C. Johnson’s” trumped Gabe’s measly one.

Runner Up: Canucks over Cobra Kai

Team of the Week:

LT’s Crackheeds;  Biggest Score of the Season, Four Game win streak, and took over the number one seed in the league.  Huzzah!


Coach of the Week:

It would be easy for Commish to crown himself Coach of the Week here.  All he did was upset Jonny G, milk the season’s best score out of his team, all without Brees, and not to mention four straight wins after dropping one of the worst stink bombs ever five weeks ago – way to rally a team!  But, Commish doesn’t want to break his arm patting himself on the back (yet), so he will instead Crown the very worthy Adam Spragg the coach of the week.  Spragg’s Charger-less Birdmen hit the waiver wire hard and well this week to scrounge up enough production to beat the mighty Rat Pack – a job well done.  Kudos to our coach of the week!

Goat of the Week:

Brandon Marshall – 2.58 points

Not the worst score of the week but a sad display nevertheless.  In a big must-win game, Marshall was only able to amass two measley catches, at home, against the lowly Fins.  Poor Fwats.  Brandon, come get your horns.

brandon_marshalluglygoat

Power Rankings are on hold this week, plus they’re more or less discussed in a different way at the top.

Good luck to all teams this week!
Commish